Is there a Santa Claus
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Is there a Santa Claus
IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?
(courtesy of my pal Stan)
As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help from that renown scientific journal SPY magazine Stan Central is pleased to present its annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.
Please consider the seven following facts:
1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT, since Santa is not Politically Correct, and doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each home.
3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (unlikely, but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting rest stops. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest
man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the QE-2.
5) 353,430 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. This will cause them to burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them,and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (not counting stash of Atkins bars, and treats from good children) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
6) In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's vaporized.
7) Wait a minute, hold the phone, perhaps he is just magic....Yes the other possibility is: Santa has powers that we just do not understand. I personally subscribe to the magic theory. Besides, without some magic in our lives.....what else is left.
(courtesy of my pal Stan)
As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help from that renown scientific journal SPY magazine Stan Central is pleased to present its annual scientific inquiry into Santa Claus.
Please consider the seven following facts:
1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT, since Santa is not Politically Correct, and doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each home.
3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (unlikely, but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting rest stops. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest
man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the QE-2.
5) 353,430 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. This will cause them to burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them,and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (not counting stash of Atkins bars, and treats from good children) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
6) In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's vaporized.
7) Wait a minute, hold the phone, perhaps he is just magic....Yes the other possibility is: Santa has powers that we just do not understand. I personally subscribe to the magic theory. Besides, without some magic in our lives.....what else is left.
:santa: 
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From: Lost some where in the middle of the Ozark Mountains!
Originally Posted by OnBelay
7) Wait a minute, hold the phone, perhaps he is just magic....Yes the other possibility is: Santa has powers that we just do not understand. I personally subscribe to the magic theory. Besides, without some magic in our lives.....what else is left.
:santa:
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From: NW Indiana
Easy to Explain:
Just add a little Quantum Physics, and no problem at all. Explains how Santa gets around. Somewhere I have a paper done by a physics grad student proving that Santa does exist: If I find it, I'll post it.
Now all I have to do is understand quantum physics/quantum mechanics/chaos theory and I would be set......
Woof
Bowser
Just add a little Quantum Physics, and no problem at all. Explains how Santa gets around. Somewhere I have a paper done by a physics grad student proving that Santa does exist: If I find it, I'll post it.
Now all I have to do is understand quantum physics/quantum mechanics/chaos theory and I would be set......
Woof
Bowser
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From: Somewhere near the back of beyond
Of course there is a Santa Claus. Just watch a child's eyes light up on Christmas morning when he/she sees what the jolly fellow brought for him/her. They believe wholeheartedly, that's proof enough for me.
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From: Lost some where in the middle of the Ozark Mountains!
Originally Posted by wild-mtn-rose
Of course there is a Santa Claus. Just watch a child's eyes light up on Christmas morning when he/she sees what the jolly fellow brought for him/her. They believe wholeheartedly, that's proof enough for me.
But then my wife always accuses me of being 8 years old too.
