I say more power to parents like this.
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By SEAN MURPHY, Associated Press Writer
Wed Nov 16, 9:42 PM ET



EDMOND, Okla. - Tasha Henderson got tired of her 14-year-old daughter's poor grades, her chronic lateness to class and her talking back to her teachers, so she decided to teach the girl a lesson.

She made Coretha stand at a busy Oklahoma City intersection Nov. 4 with a cardboard sign that read: "I don't do my homework and I act up in school, so my parents are preparing me for my future. Will work for food."

"This may not work. I'm not a professional," said Henderson, a 34-year-old mother of three. "But I felt I owed it to my child to at least try."

In fact, Henderson has seen a turnaround in her daughter's behavior in the past week and a half. But the punishment prompted letters and calls to talk radio from people either praising the woman or blasting her for publicly humiliating her daughter.

"The parents of that girl need more education than she does if they can't see that the worst scenario in this case is to kill their daughter psychologically," Suzanne Ball said in a letter to The Oklahoman.

Marvin Lyle, 52, said in an interview: "I don't see anything wrong with it. I see the other extreme where parents don't care what the kids do, and at least she wants to help her kid."

Coretha has been getting C's and D's as a freshman at Edmond Memorial High in this well-to-do Oklahoma City suburb. Edmond Memorial is considered one of the top high schools in the state in academics.

While Henderson stood next to her daughter at the intersection, a passing motorist called police with a report of psychological abuse, and an Oklahoma City police officer took a report. Mother and daughter were asked to leave after about an hour, and no citation was issued. But the report was forwarded to the state Department of Human Services.

"There wasn't any criminal act involved that the officer could see that would require any criminal investigation," Master Sgt. Charles Phillips said. "DHS may follow up."

DHS spokesman Doug Doe would not comment on whether an investigation was opened, but suggested such a case would probably not be a high priority.

Tasha Henderson said her daughter's attendance has been perfect and her behavior has been better since the incident.

Coretha, a soft-spoken girl, acknowledged the punishment was humiliating but said it got her attention. "I won't talk back," she said quietly, hanging her head.

She already has been forced by her parents to give up basketball and track because of slipping grades, and said she hopes to improve in school so she can play next year.

Donald Wertlieb, a professor of child development at the Eliot-Pearson Department of Child Development at Tufts University, warned that such punishment could do extreme emotional damage. He said rewarding positive behavior is more effective.

"The trick is to catch them being good," he said. "It sounds like this mother has not had a chance to catch her child being good or is so upset over seeing her be bad, that's where the focus is."

 

Donald Wertlieb is a frigging moron idiot. But then so are most university professor types.

 

And if that doesn't work, a good crack across the a$$ never hurt!

 

Good for the mother!

 

Absolutely! At least the parents are trying, not just ignoring the problem. As far as reward s being better, did not sound as if there was much to reward. Also, the mom was out there too, so it was not just to humiliate the daughter. I say it is good creative parenting.

 

I am told at times that I am kinda hard on my kids because as soon as they get home from school it is time to do homework. WTF? My kids all get great grades and evry years when it comes time to talk to the teachers, they always say, "I can't believe I finally got to have one of your kids" Last year we went down to the anual open house. When my eight year old decided she wanted to read to us in the classroom castle we crawled in and sat down to listen to her read us a story. Her teacher jumps and goes running out of the room yelling "don't move!!!" She came running back in with a camera and 4 other teachers. She plastered those pictures all over the school with different captions about what you should do to get your kids to have fun learning and how to care about being a parent.

My wifes sister on the other hand is just the complete opp. Her kids are all failing and she really don't give a *****.When the kids in this school meet the goals for advanced reading they get to have AR parties. For the kids that don't meet the AR goal, they get a huge packet of homework to keep them motivated. This quarted her oldest didn't meet the goal and came home with this packet. She called the school with her son sitting right next to her and told them that he would not be doing it. That is a parent who cares.

Last week we were all at granmas house for lunch. One of her kids got up to get a can of pop and asked if my ten year old smart assed daughter would like a can. She looked up and said, "Sure, and for future reference, yes, I would like fries with that" I don't think I have ever been more proud of one of my kids

 

Amen to that...

 

I saw this on the news a few weeks ago...


Not to form an opinion or anything... but the daughter was a little "large". I wonder if her grades and physical fitness, along with the rest of her life have some type of correlation going on ???

 

Mother out there with the child, both realize the problem, and the Mother has the solution. I wish the paper would do a followup on the "cure".

Please don't diss the child development professor, he's just trying to justify his existence. If there were more parents like Mrs. Henderson, there would be much less need for guys like Donald Wertlieb.

Here's the other side of the problem:

I just came from presiding over a suspension hearing. Parents or students have a right to request a hearing with a panel of school board members when they don't agree with a decision made by administration.

I'll cut to the chase:
16 year old student has been arrested three times in the past three years, currently a 9th grader. Caught by the SRO (School Resourse Officer) in a bathroom at 7:45 AM smoking pot with two other students. SRO also finds a crack rock in the 16 year old's pocket. He's arrested, and charged appropriately. Administration suspends him for 10 days and asks for 365 day dismissal. Mother comes to plead the case.

Here's a summary of her introductory remarks to the appeals board:

I am here to ask that "little Johnny" be allowed to stay in school because I can't afford to live without the government checks I get based on his school attendance. If you throw him out of school, the checks stop coming and I won't be able to pay my bills. Another thing, I have not been in my son's life since he was 9 years old, and now I'm ready to be a positive influence on him if you will just give him another chance to stay in school.

I questioned why she has not been in her son's life since he was 9 years old.
Her answer:
"I was locked up on his 9th birthday, and released three months ago." We checked her arrest record with the police department, and she'd been arrested several times, and been in and out of jail two times since "little Johnny" was born. (bad checks and drugs)

Just think of the togetherness, now that "little Johnny" is 16, they can share the same probation officer.

 

works for me....

 

people don't know what real abuse is these days....

I give the mom big kudos! She's trying and definitely gets points for creativity! Now she just needs to show her daughter that she's proud of the turnaround

 

They had that on the news today: Must be a different story.

Today = 11/18/2005
Dallas, TX
38 degrees

 

[QUOTE=Photog95]I am told at times that I am kinda hard on my kids because as soon as they get home from school it is time to do homework. WTF? My kids all get great grades and evry years when it comes time to talk to the teachers,


Good for you It is nice to see a father so involved with their child's education that helping with homework and meeting the teachers are first. My ex thought it was the mother's obligation because his tv was much more important. I would keep a tab on the sassiness of your daughter though. If she can be that outspoken to relatives at 10, she could have a real dark side by 15, 18, etc.

 

My kids are all smart asses. They get it from daddy. It isn't really sassy as much as it is quick wit and a low tollerance for stupid people. I think most everyone here can relate to that. My kids aren't mean to the less fortunate or people that look different. It is just people that are given brains and are just to lazy to use them.

 

It is good that they have big self respect that will help them in the future. I fear that I have let my kids down especially my daughter because they watched how I let my ex treat me and never stood up for myself. I don't see that happening with your daughter. It is a little cruel though for them to treat their cousin that way, when you said it was the mother's fault. Keep in mind that not all kids are lucky enough to have a parent like yourself that is willing to help them. I don't know your family situation but get the sense that you don't like their cousin or mother much because it doesn't bother you that they are cruel to the other child who is less fortunate in a way because they don't have support at home to help them learn which is sad. I find nothing wrong with the situation if it was adults dealing with adults but it is different when it is children. Then it becomes teasing and bullying another child. Since you do very well with helping your children with their school work, is it possible to help their cousin with his/her work so they don't end up as the "stupid people" that you refer to? I am curious where your children's mother is? I get the sense that your dislikeness to her sister and child means that you are mostly likely a single dad that the relationship ended badly. If she was anything like her sister I could see why. You sound like an excellent father that really cares about his children and they are so lucky to have you to help them. I wish my children had a father that they could look up to.