Something to think about....
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Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 378
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From: ???.....depends on the day
Something to think about....
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
(I know....I am suppose to be on sabatical this week....well....I will be around until this Wednesday....the weather is pretty crappy...so I will be doing office work....then I will be leaving for deer season.....I did get one pheasant this weekend.....it was horrible bird weather....60+ degrees and 20+mph winds.....only saw two birds....the first one flew up and was 70 yards away before I could even get the first shot off....hope it cools down here soon!)
Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
(I know....I am suppose to be on sabatical this week....well....I will be around until this Wednesday....the weather is pretty crappy...so I will be doing office work....then I will be leaving for deer season.....I did get one pheasant this weekend.....it was horrible bird weather....60+ degrees and 20+mph winds.....only saw two birds....the first one flew up and was 70 yards away before I could even get the first shot off....hope it cools down here soon!)
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 258
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From: Pratt, KS
Originally Posted by wstahlm80
.....it was horrible bird weather....60+ degrees and 20+mph winds.....only saw two birds....the first one flew up and was 70 yards away before I could even get the first shot off....hope it cools down here soon!)
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 387
Likes: 0
From: Somewhere near the back of beyond
Originally Posted by wstahlm80
Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Here are a few for you from my collection:
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?
They'll never be able to recall enough vehicles to correct the loose nuts behind the wheels!
If vegetable oil comes from vegetables, where does baby oil come from?
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If a pig loses its voice is it disgruntled?
How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?
