As a kind of a regular here in General Care and Detailing, I’ve seen a number of subjects come up repeatedly. Most of these should probably get referred to “Myth Busters” for public humiliation and destruction, but I thought I’d take a shot at putting together a list of things that deserve a special bullet in the back of the head. Please feel free to add to my list if I’ve somehow missed something.

Dealer Protection Packages: We’ve all sat through the pitch for this one – usually from the Finance guy at the dealer. (Shouldn’t that alone be a hint?) For a mere $299 - $499 (depending on dealer greed or apparent customer stupidity), the dealer can protect your paint, upholstery and prevent your vehicle from rusting for 200 years or 36 minutes – whichever comes first. The dealer would be happy to show you the process, but it’s patented and top secret – as well as invisible.

Home Dent Removal Tools: Simply attach the high quality $19.95 Chinese made plastic device to the fender you wrinkled (by hitting a parked bus at 65 MPH) and turn the ****. The entire front end of your truck magically pops back into place. Yea, right. These things wouldn’t work on Tupperware, much less sheet metal.

Miracle Waxes and / or Sealers: Simply wipe this stuff on any car in a junkyard (no need to wash or rub) and the paint is magically restored to show car condition. All oxidation, scratches, dents, rust and missing trim pieces are suddenly brought back from the dead. As Roger Penske says: “Effort equals results.” Need I say more?

Fuel Line Magnets: Simply clamp one of these bad boys into place on your fuel line and it will “align the hydrocarbon clusters for better burning in your combustion chambers - leading to dramatically improved fuel mileage.” They even claim to be endorsed by a lab that can spell EPA. Tell me friends; if a $3.50 device would really increase gas mileage that much, wouldn’t it come from the factory?

Intake Manifold Storms: Although they come with many names, they all fit inside (where you can’t see them) your intake track and accelerate and / or put a spin on the intake charge. This supposedly “supercharges the intake charge and dramatically increases gas mileage.” Again, for the $0.67 cost of building these things, don’t you think the manufacturers …

Fish Carburetors: You know, the carburetor that the Oil companies bought and hid because it allowed a 1974 Cadillac with a 500 cubic inch V-8 to get 248 MPG? Yea, that one. Do I have to say anything here?

 

Well, have to agree on most of those items but two of them are possibly not total hokum.

The ding king or whatever really does work.
That is, if you know how to use it...
I have a buddy that’s a body guy, and I have sat and watched him use a 20 buck ding remover from Wally World and pull parking lot dings. Of course he knows what he is doing, and knows which ding is pull able.

And the quick treatment that fixes the paint? There was a product called Colorback.
In the days before paint was clear coated, I used it on a 72 MG Midget that had not been washed or waxed in 12 years, ugly yellow color. Washing it did nothing. A quick treatment with the Colorback and it really looked great. Easy to do, almost wipe on wipe off. Since clear coat it has apparently disappeared.


Still, you’re right about most of the ‘treatments’. This was an exception and only worked on certain cars.
Chris

 

Chrisadams,

You are definetaly right about the dent puller...it works on some, but not others, and it helps to have the professional background.

Regarding the engine components, there was an article in Popular mechanics I think last month...although a Myth Busters episode would be cool!

Regards,
Kevin

 

I have to agree. Most miracle products are just that, miracles that are to good to be true. Take the GS27 scratch remover for example. Its nothing more than a light cut compound that won't do anything you couldn't do with a walmart special. THe dent king will work, if you are a dent wizard and know how to finesse it. The tornado is a joke, and so is the fuel magnet.

It goes back to, "if it sounds to good to be true, it probably is!"

 

Well crap. I'm taking back my RONCO Rotisserie Oven now. Thanks for ruining it for me!

 

First no Santa, and now...this?!

 

ding king-works
ronco rotisserie-works great!
george foreman grill-works great!
the magic bullet-works great!
Oh, i forgot we were talking about trucks!!!!

 

My old man loves his George Foreman grill. In fact he owns two, not to mention the several he's purchased as gifts for others.

(How's that for a hijack?)


OH, and since at least some of the Google ads shown below are proven ripoffs, how are we supposed to know which ones are ripoffs and which ones are legitimate? I would be willing to support the site sponsors if I could determine which sponsors were not trying to steal my money. I know the one that says "up to 35 horsepower for $69.95" is a ripoff.

 

Just set it and forget it !

 

I might have to take back some of what I said. This past weekend I was fishing with my Popiel Pocket Fisherman while standing on the hood of my trusty F-150. On about my 3rd cast, I hooked into at least a 30-pound Chia Pet who put up a vicious battle – which caused me to scratch my hood. Feeling really bad, I went home and popped a couple of cheese dogs into my George Foreman grill – to cook them the healthy way. Feeling a bit better, I popped that nasty Chia Pet into my new Bass-o-matic. I then applied the resulting slurry to my hood using my Sam’s Club micro fiber towels. Not only are the scratches and dents gone, but an L-88 hood scoop has magically grown in their place. Better yet, some of the goo got into my Tornado intake system and I haven’t had to fill the tank in 3 weeks! What’s that honey? Oh, it’s time for my medication.

 

The tornado fuel saver does work. But I don't think it was designed with our trucks in mind because I had to bend it just to get it in the gas tank, but it fell right in after that and I assume it's down in there spinning and doing its job because let me tell you, the improvements are amazing, I feel at least an extra 50, if not 100 ponies. As for gas mileage, I haven't had to refill since, and that was 1800 miles ago. Please add that to your list.

I need some f'in sleep.

 

See, if you had a Fuel Line Magnet, you'd know where that bad boy was!