Things to keep in mind when calling technical support...
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From: Your moms house
Things to keep in mind when calling technical support...
I need your help with this one folks. This is all I could come up with. Now, I know some of you folks worked tech support in one way or another, so I am sure to find good input here.
Things to keep in mind when calling technical support...
More input appreciated.
Things to keep in mind when calling technical support...
More input appreciated.
Last edited by jamzwayne; Oct 20, 2005 at 11:08 AM.
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From: Burleson/Athens/Brownsboro, TX
Where is the fun in all that? You don't allow for frustrating the tech and pissing him off at all. It is you're, not your in your number 3. BTW, nice to have you back. 
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Jim
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From: Sactown
9. Have a clue what your issue is. "It doesn't work" doesn't help me at all.
10. Please have an English speaking person nearby.
11. I don't care if it's worked for the past 10 years with the Google Toolbar installed, I'm getting rid of it now. *delete* Oh look, it works now. Hhmmmmmmmm
12. Don't call and say "Hi, I'm having a problem but can you hold for just a minute?" NO, I CAN'T!
10. Please have an English speaking person nearby.
11. I don't care if it's worked for the past 10 years with the Google Toolbar installed, I'm getting rid of it now. *delete* Oh look, it works now. Hhmmmmmmmm
12. Don't call and say "Hi, I'm having a problem but can you hold for just a minute?" NO, I CAN'T!
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From: Pikesville, MD
Well I've been on both ends to here.
From my days as a tech and manager for help desk.
* The screen is not the computer, the box thingie is
* Your CD tray is not a coffe cup holder
* Your mouse is not a foot pedal (sewing machine) (personal experience on this one)
* Unhooking your phone line, putting your thumb over it, moving it and plugging it back in does break my Pcanywhere connection, but it was a good try. (again personal experience)
* Just cause you have a menu option that says Print doesnt mean you dont have to buy a printer (office depot days)
* Clicking ok is different than just clicking the X to close the window
* Make a backup...no seriously make one...great you did? Now make it again cause you didnt
From the other line now.
* Help desk technicians hate their jobs
* They are there cause they cant get real IT jobs
* They aren't that smart and you can lie to them
* Tell them you rebooted, wait 30 seconds and say yes it is done...they believe you.
* Instead of telling them yes I've done that and explaining that you might know a little more than them, pretend you are a woman and fake it. Eventually they reach the conclusion you did 30 minutes ago and send you the replacement part.
* NO it is not my firewall blocking my connection...its your lame service that is down...how does my firewall make my link connection on the modem blink?
Sorry Jamzy... I feel for you been there and done it. BUt most HD techs are just morons following scripts. They couldn't format a floppy with out detailed instructions.
From my days as a tech and manager for help desk.
* The screen is not the computer, the box thingie is
* Your CD tray is not a coffe cup holder
* Your mouse is not a foot pedal (sewing machine) (personal experience on this one)
* Unhooking your phone line, putting your thumb over it, moving it and plugging it back in does break my Pcanywhere connection, but it was a good try. (again personal experience)
* Just cause you have a menu option that says Print doesnt mean you dont have to buy a printer (office depot days)
* Clicking ok is different than just clicking the X to close the window
* Make a backup...no seriously make one...great you did? Now make it again cause you didnt
From the other line now.
* Help desk technicians hate their jobs
* They are there cause they cant get real IT jobs
* They aren't that smart and you can lie to them
* Tell them you rebooted, wait 30 seconds and say yes it is done...they believe you.
* Instead of telling them yes I've done that and explaining that you might know a little more than them, pretend you are a woman and fake it. Eventually they reach the conclusion you did 30 minutes ago and send you the replacement part.
* NO it is not my firewall blocking my connection...its your lame service that is down...how does my firewall make my link connection on the modem blink?
Sorry Jamzy... I feel for you been there and done it. BUt most HD techs are just morons following scripts. They couldn't format a floppy with out detailed instructions.
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From: Motor City
Some of my best working days happened when I started out in a call center. Man we had fun. Granted I only worked there 6 months, but we had good times. We helped exec's (was a private helpdesk gig I was on) install games on their laptops, hacked our own Notes server locking the rest of the team (including the boss) out of their e-mail, used our stress ***** brought in by the client to continually bounce it off her own skull.. we had a cop, cook, and real estate chick on the team. The cop was sharp and learned a lot. The cook was funny as hell but dumb. The real estate chick was hot and dumb. I love it. The second team lead we had was also dumb and uber hot. She was real fun to mess with. Ahhhhhhh... the good 'ol days.
Jamzy, got a cube next to you open? I'll show you how it's done (and how to get canned within a few months).
Jamzy, got a cube next to you open? I'll show you how it's done (and how to get canned within a few months).
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From: Pikesville, MD
It was a ton of fun too...the most I've had in IT.
We had a few nuts into medival fighting so they brought their stuff in and had full battles with hard foam weapons...
Wrestling matches that required plants and office accesories to cover up the busted dry wall.
Server directories with unbelievable amounts of ****
Networked Duke Nukem and CivNet games
Compressed air cans turned upside down and sprayed on the back of a tech's neck while their on the phone is sure to generate a scream of pain. (Man that stuff is cold when its upside down)
Screwing with the sales staff in the other building and their connections...
RC car races throught the office
It sucked becoming the manager cause I couldnt have fun or let the guys have fun until the VP left but then it was "Game on".
We had a few nuts into medival fighting so they brought their stuff in and had full battles with hard foam weapons...
Wrestling matches that required plants and office accesories to cover up the busted dry wall.
Server directories with unbelievable amounts of ****
Networked Duke Nukem and CivNet games
Compressed air cans turned upside down and sprayed on the back of a tech's neck while their on the phone is sure to generate a scream of pain. (Man that stuff is cold when its upside down)
Screwing with the sales staff in the other building and their connections...
RC car races throught the office
It sucked becoming the manager cause I couldnt have fun or let the guys have fun until the VP left but then it was "Game on".
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From: Littleton, CO USA
well, I work tech support, and I personally love it. I love being able to interact with human beings without having to see them. However, I work something not typical... I work as tech support for basically the administrators... so the dumbasses call their administrator and filter out all the "how do I use my mouse" calls, and we get the real issues. I don't want an IT job. I'm perfectly happy doing what I do and I make pretty darn good money at it too.
With that in mind, here is a few things to keep in mind when calling tech support.
1. Occasionally your wait time for support will be almost nothing, you'll call in and get help. Sometimes, it will be several hours. This depends on call volume, how many other down sites we have, and how short-staffed we are. Calling back two dozen times will NOT get your call taken faster, nor will it make us happeir to get to you. In fact, it frustrates us, raises our stress level, and often we'll put you back at the end of the line each time you call back.
2. WE did not mess up your system, nor did your software just suddenly decide to stop working. YOU did something, admit it early in the call and make it easier on us. Whether you think it is relevent or not, let us know what has changed since the software was working (for example, software WAS working, I changed hte network card, now its not working... or software WAS working, I formatted the hard drive and started over, reinstalled the software and now its not working).
3. People, get with the times as far as technology goes! We have sites running Windows NT with 128 megs of RAM. Servers and workstations are unbelievably cheap these days, even for budget-minded companies. You can't expect a $50,000 program to run on a 5-year old server you got at a garage sale and have it work smoothly.
4. You don't have to admit to me that you don't know about the computer. I can already tell in the first 30 seconds I am talking to you when you called your monitor a "TV screen" and your keyboard a "typewriter".
5. You have two power buttons. One is on your monitor, one is on your computer. If I ask you to turn off your computer and turn it on again, and you say "its right back where it was" guess what, you chose the wrong power button.
6. Do not expect the software to function when the power is out. it just won't.
7. (Stolen from Dilbert): Your computer being slow can only be caused by looking at ****... now I'll just need your name for our records...
With that in mind, here is a few things to keep in mind when calling tech support.
1. Occasionally your wait time for support will be almost nothing, you'll call in and get help. Sometimes, it will be several hours. This depends on call volume, how many other down sites we have, and how short-staffed we are. Calling back two dozen times will NOT get your call taken faster, nor will it make us happeir to get to you. In fact, it frustrates us, raises our stress level, and often we'll put you back at the end of the line each time you call back.
2. WE did not mess up your system, nor did your software just suddenly decide to stop working. YOU did something, admit it early in the call and make it easier on us. Whether you think it is relevent or not, let us know what has changed since the software was working (for example, software WAS working, I changed hte network card, now its not working... or software WAS working, I formatted the hard drive and started over, reinstalled the software and now its not working).
3. People, get with the times as far as technology goes! We have sites running Windows NT with 128 megs of RAM. Servers and workstations are unbelievably cheap these days, even for budget-minded companies. You can't expect a $50,000 program to run on a 5-year old server you got at a garage sale and have it work smoothly.
4. You don't have to admit to me that you don't know about the computer. I can already tell in the first 30 seconds I am talking to you when you called your monitor a "TV screen" and your keyboard a "typewriter".
5. You have two power buttons. One is on your monitor, one is on your computer. If I ask you to turn off your computer and turn it on again, and you say "its right back where it was" guess what, you chose the wrong power button.
6. Do not expect the software to function when the power is out. it just won't.
7. (Stolen from Dilbert): Your computer being slow can only be caused by looking at ****... now I'll just need your name for our records...
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From: Mormon-ville
Originally Posted by vader716
It was a ton of fun too...the most I've had in IT.
We had a few nuts into medival fighting so they brought their stuff in and had full battles with hard foam weapons...
Wrestling matches that required plants and office accesories to cover up the busted dry wall.
Server directories with unbelievable amounts of ****
Networked Duke Nukem and CivNet games
Compressed air cans turned upside down and sprayed on the back of a tech's neck while their on the phone is sure to generate a scream of pain. (Man that stuff is cold when its upside down)
Screwing with the sales staff in the other building and their connections...
RC car races throught the office
It sucked becoming the manager cause I couldnt have fun or let the guys have fun until the VP left but then it was "Game on".
We had a few nuts into medival fighting so they brought their stuff in and had full battles with hard foam weapons...
Wrestling matches that required plants and office accesories to cover up the busted dry wall.
Server directories with unbelievable amounts of ****
Networked Duke Nukem and CivNet games
Compressed air cans turned upside down and sprayed on the back of a tech's neck while their on the phone is sure to generate a scream of pain. (Man that stuff is cold when its upside down)
Screwing with the sales staff in the other building and their connections...
RC car races throught the office
It sucked becoming the manager cause I couldnt have fun or let the guys have fun until the VP left but then it was "Game on".
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Posts: 4,424
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From: Motor City
A snip from a 'tech stories' website I wish I would have thought of:
4.) This one was especially funny for a colleague of mine and myself. It was new year's eve and I had to work (*grmpf*). Since I knew I'd leave the company in some weeks time I decided to have a nice evening with my 3 colleagues who were present. I brought some six-packs of beer along, and for some hours we had a quiet evening with only a handful of customers calling. I mean, to be honest, would you call your provider's hotline at 9 or 10 p.m. at new year's eve? Well, if you would, get a life *gg*. However, some time between 9 and 10 the call frequency rose. Since I didn't really want to talk to any of these ******, my colleague and me decided, that we both take a call, then I'd transfer it to his line, he'd put up a conference between the 3 of them, and hit the mute button. Then I plugged my headset into his phone, and we listened for some minutes as the comedy unfolded.
Customer1: "Hello, my account number is.."
Customer2: "No, no, MY account number is.."
Customer1: "I can't connect to the internet, can you..."
Customer2: "I don't get any e-mails, would you..."
Customer1: "What are you talking about, are you kidding me?"
Customer2: "Hey, don't get mean!"
Customer1: "I want you to solve my problem NOW!"
Customer2: "I don't care about your problem. I called because I have a problem..."
This went on for about 5 minutes, until those two guys discovered, that they were BOTH customers. My colleague and I were literally ROFL at that time.
Customer1: "Hello, my account number is.."
Customer2: "No, no, MY account number is.."
Customer1: "I can't connect to the internet, can you..."
Customer2: "I don't get any e-mails, would you..."
Customer1: "What are you talking about, are you kidding me?"
Customer2: "Hey, don't get mean!"
Customer1: "I want you to solve my problem NOW!"
Customer2: "I don't care about your problem. I called because I have a problem..."
This went on for about 5 minutes, until those two guys discovered, that they were BOTH customers. My colleague and I were literally ROFL at that time.
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From: FL
Well, I didn't do a lot of phone tech support. Most of it was on site or in shop, but there is always one fundamental thing that helps tremendously.
Write down EXACTLY any error codes or messages you get when something goes wrong, or EXACTLY what you were doing when the problem occurred.
As far as calling tech support now, well, I usually don't unless I know it's a problem that can't be fixed by me. If I can convince the tech support person that I have a clue then things go smoothly. The ones that assume you are an idiot no matter what or have less of a clue than the caller that are a PITA.
Write down EXACTLY any error codes or messages you get when something goes wrong, or EXACTLY what you were doing when the problem occurred.
As far as calling tech support now, well, I usually don't unless I know it's a problem that can't be fixed by me. If I can convince the tech support person that I have a clue then things go smoothly. The ones that assume you are an idiot no matter what or have less of a clue than the caller that are a PITA.
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From: ???.....depends on the day
personally...I hate being a GURU....******* need to learn how to fix their own damn problems and leave me alone...if someone is gonna throw a grand/plus into a piece of electronics only to **** it up...then I say way to go....you could have bought a nice handgun with that kind of cash and done us all a favor....