"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep.
If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

 

RC....YOU ARE GREAT!!!

I have been looking for a new message to put on my phone...I now have one...

 

I can never hear that enough.... *MWAH*

 

Here's another one:

There's no one at home now to answer the phone,
So please leave a message when you hear the tone.
But if you're a burglar, we're not gone at all,
We're cleaning our shotguns, while screening your call!

 

Prepare for alpha test of Beep Software revision 1.05. Counting down to test: 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

_____________________________________________

Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... don't even think about it!... Don't...!


_____________________________________________

Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

________________________________________________

Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

________________________________________________

Sorry, Chris and Susan aren't here right now. Please leave your name and number after the tone. If you are calling regarding an outstanding debt, please leave your message before the tone.

________________________________________________

This is not an answering machine--this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.

________________________________________________

(Classical music This is our answering machine. (Switch to heavy metal racket This is our answering machine on drugs. (Silence...) Any message?

__________________________________________________ _

 

I always liked the ones they had on TV back in the 90's... Kind of a Weird Al approach...

"Nobodie's home, Nobodie's home"
"Wait for the beep. Ya gotta leave your name. Ya gotta leave your number. Ya gotta wait for the beep"

I need something catchy on mine...

 

Catchy answering machine messages were fine back in the '80s and early '90s when it was still somewhat of a novelty. But any more, they are a complete PITA. How many times have you called someone on your cell phone, only to get their answering service. First off, it takes the stupid service provider message 30 seconds to tell you "to leave a callback number, press 5. For more options, press pound", etc. etc. etc. Then you get the 45 second, rambling message from the person you are trying to call. Yes, I know how to leave a *******&ing message, just SHUT UP AND LET ME LEAVE MY MESSAGE ALREADY!

Mine is short and to the point: "This is Brian, leave a message." People calling me on cell phones don't need to waste 3 minutes of airtime to wait for me to finish my cute greeting and play the beep. After 20 years of having this technology, everyone capable of dialing a telephone knows how answering machines work. I don't need to tell them how to leave a message.

 

This sounds like me! =)

I love it!

Its not an answering machine message but I also like this one to:
"Its not you, Its Me..."
"...I dont like you"

Say it sincere enough and watch the bewildered look on their face as they try to process what you said =P

 

greeting...Hello?..pause...Caller....hello?...gree ting hello...caller...hello?...greeting...Oh I'm sorry, please leave a message...

You have called honest ed's used cars, home of are 60 feet or 60 second garantie.....

 

Here's mine...



Hello? (A few seconds later...) Hello? (A few more seconds...) Hello! (A few more...) Awww crap! I must not be home. Leave a message at the beep.


















I get a lot of hang ups.

 

When I call my brother he always answers and says "Papa John's pizza! Would you like to try our two for one deal?"

 

i actually had my own version

"hi..nobody here right now to take your call
so whoever is calling me from there
i'll call you back when i get here
and if your not there when i get here
you'll have to call here from there once more
but if i'm not here
to take your call from there
then i'll call there from here again"








(pause)








"or i just might be screening my calls and dont want anything to do with you now or anytime soon

have a nice day"


...zap!

 

My cousin had for her VM,

Hello.... (Pause)


Oh hey, I was just getting ready to call you.... (Pause)


Where are you? (Pause)


Wanna hear a joke? (pause)



I'm not available so leave a meesage. (Beep)


I was so mad but had to laugh the first time that I got that.
She got me good, I responded to the whole thing and carried on a conversation with a recording! She was the first one ever that was able to trick me with one like that.

 

What i used to do was to record their out going message and play it back on their answering machine.



Russell

 

I took my acoustic guitar, and played the song "Tequilla", but when you normally shout the word tequilla, my family shouts "WereNotHome!, a then the song ends.

Hard to explain, but most people like it.