Asking the right questions.....

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Old Sep 20, 2005 | 04:39 PM
  #1  
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From: Your moms house
Exclamation Asking the right questions.....HELP?

Hey folks.

Those of you who know me, know I work tech support for ***, and I hate my job.

Well, it was brought to my attention there is an opening where my mother-in-law and wifey work in the IT dept. She network admin has asked about me a few times over the past week and I was gonna e-mail her to see if it would benefit me....but, I am having some trouble finding the right words. Can I get you guys/gals to help me out a lil bit?

Here's what I have so far:
Betty,

My name is *jamzwayne. My mother-in-law works there in Collections Dept and my wife works in the Criminal Clerks office. My wife and mother-in-law brought to my attention that you might have an opening, and I was wondering if I could get some information about the position that will be opening up. ***I NEED MORE HERE***

What are the day-to-day responsibilities of this position?

What are some of the skills and abilities necessary for someone to succeed in this position?

***I CANT THINK OF ANY OTHER QUESTIONS***

I can have a resume ready at your request, and would love to meet with you.
 

Last edited by jamzwayne; Sep 20, 2005 at 05:08 PM.
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Old Sep 20, 2005 | 04:42 PM
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From: Motor City
Betty,

My name is *jamzwayne. My mother-in-law UHHHHH NO! MY MOMMEY WORKS THERE SO I WANT TO... WTF MATE?! works there in Collections Dept and my wife works in the Criminal Clerks office. My wife and mother-in-law STOP IT!!! brought to my attention that you might have an opening, and I was wondering if I could get some information about the position that will be opening up. ***I NEED MORE HERE*** YOU NEED A WHOLE NEW OPENING PARAGRAPH

What are the day-to-day responsibilities of this position?

What are some of the skills and abilities necessary for someone to succeed in this position?

***I CANT THINK OF ANY OTHER QUESTIONS*** YOU SHOULDN'T ASK ANY QUESTIONS, JUST RESPECTFULLY ASK WHERE/HOW TO SUBMIT A RESUME FOR CONSIDERATION.

I can have a resume ready at your request, and would love to meet with you. OOOOHHH BABY I'D LOVE TO MEET WITH YOU... MMMMMHHHH HUGS AND KISSES...


I'm not yelling in CAPS, just pointing out my thoughts... though you do need a good yelling at. I'm outta here in two minutes for bowling night, but if you don't figure it out by tonight or tomorrow morning I'll write you up a sure winner...
 
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Old Sep 20, 2005 | 04:45 PM
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Personally Jamz, I say forget the e-mail and dress up and go visit her personally and inquire about the job...shows much more initiative than an e-mail. Just my opinion but it has ALWAYS worked for me in business.
 
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Old Sep 20, 2005 | 04:46 PM
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From: Your moms house
Originally Posted by SAJEFFC
Personally Jamz, I say forget the e-mail and dress up and go visit her personally and inquire about the job...shows much more initiative than an e-mail. Just my opinion but it has ALWAYS worked for me in business.
I thought about that, but she wanted me to email her.
 
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Old Sep 20, 2005 | 04:46 PM
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I think this is a better intro, just slightly

My name is *jamzwayne. It's been brought to my attention that you might have an opening and I was wondering if I could get some information about the position that will be opening up. My mother-in-law works there in Collections Dept and my wife works in the Criminal Clerks office, so I know quite a bit about the company.
I just think you need to start off with your reason for writing. Otherwise, the reader is like, "okay, your family works here, what's your point? Are they felons"
Also, the way I worded it, makes it sound less like pointless name-dropping.
 
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Old Sep 20, 2005 | 04:47 PM
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From: Your moms house
Originally Posted by UrbanCowboy
I just think you need to start off with your reason for writing. Otherwise, the reader is like, "okay, your family works here, what's your point? Are they felons"
Also, the way I worded it, makes it sound less like pointless name-dropping.

Good point...thnx.
 
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Old Sep 20, 2005 | 04:53 PM
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From: ???.....depends on the day
I would get rid of this question:

What are some of the skills and abilities necessary for someone to succeed in this position?

Makes you sound "unsure" of yourself.
 
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Old Sep 20, 2005 | 04:54 PM
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Originally Posted by jamzwayne
Good point...thnx.
good advise so far, and unless she has referred to herself as Betty only, I would call her Mrs. Whatever. And send her a resume to start with.Also, downplay that relatives work there. If she already knows it, do not mention it. I would not bring that up until you meet her if she does not know it already.
 
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Old Sep 20, 2005 | 04:54 PM
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Originally Posted by jamzwayne
Good point...thnx.
I love this type of thing. My favorite class in college was a class on Business Writing. It improved my writing 400%. I'd work in it more but I'm at work you see.
 
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Old Sep 20, 2005 | 05:02 PM
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From: Your moms house
Originally Posted by wstahlm80
I would get rid of this question:

What are some of the skills and abilities necessary for someone to succeed in this position?

Makes you sound "unsure" of yourself.

I am going to wait to ask questions during the interview.
 
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Old Sep 20, 2005 | 05:13 PM
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Just ask for a job description if you want more info on the position before submitting a resume.
 
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Old Sep 20, 2005 | 05:29 PM
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As a principal in a large human resources firm, may I suggest that you don't necessarily want to run the family connection up the flagpole.

Just mention that you have been made aware of an opening. If the position is open, it's open, there is no need to mention the source of the info, it's probably not a secret.

Nepotism is not a highly sought after workplace scenario.

Just my $.02.
 
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Old Sep 20, 2005 | 05:30 PM
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From: Burleson/Athens/Brownsboro, TX
Originally Posted by efexfour
As a principal in a large human resources firm, may I suggest that you don't necessarily want to run the family connection up the flagpole.

Just mention that you have been made aware of an opening. If the position is open, it's open, there is no need to mention the source of the info, it's probably not a secret.

Nepotism is not a highly sought after workplace scenario.

Just my $.02.
Exactly, that was what I was aluding to earlier.
 
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Old Sep 20, 2005 | 05:32 PM
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From: Your moms house
Originally Posted by efexfour
As a principal in a large human resources firm, may I suggest that you don't necessarily want to run the family connection up the flagpole.

Just mention that you have been made aware of an opening. If the position is open, it's open, there is no need to mention the source of the info, it's probably not a secret.

Nepotism is not a highly sought after workplace scenario.

Just my $.02.
Your 2 cents is noted. I have scratched that sorry attempt and will start over tonight.....thnx efex4
 
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Old Sep 20, 2005 | 06:07 PM
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Mrs.So-N-So


I understand you have a position available in your IT department, which I am very interested in. I would like to send you my resume. Where should I mail it? Or would an emailed or faxed copy be better for you?

Thank you for your time. I look forward to meeting you.


Sincerely,
The one and only Jamzwayne



Jamz...thats what I would do. Its short and to the point. Your not asking for a job description or what would be required at this time, which may make you seem unsure of yourself. Get the resume to her and let her make the decision if you are what she's looking for and then take it from there. Then in the interview, just throw it out there that your so glad Mom and wife told you about the opening. Its just what I would do...


BREW
 
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