Out of all the people on this forum one of you has to have had something interesting happen to you? What did ya'll do this weekend?

 

Me and my homies put all our money together and we still couldn't get a Happy Meal so, we decides to stick up a liquor store. My uncle owns one so I put a bag over my head and I goes inside and says "This is a stick-up!".

My uncle looks at me with this bag over my head and says, "Get out of here, Raoul'.
and I says, "It ain't me, man!'

 

NICE

 

I got hammered and professed my love for the forum.

 

Bachelor Party!!

 

I saw that, also Nice. I have noticed that everyone bands together and helps each other out, like a family.

 

I was sober, read his statement of love and thought I was hammered.

Beyond that I worked my tail off on my wife's list.

 

Lost my dog...
Sand blasted some inner fenders...
Work on a drawing here at work...
Noticed D was hammered and in love with us...
Slept...
Went to Wal-Mart...
Installed 2 A/C units, and 2 light fixtures...

in that order...

I also did some masticating, defacating and urinating... not necessarily in that order though...

 

...so, when I says "it ain't me, man" it doesn't scare him at all. He laughs like he don't believe me even though I disguised my voice. I forgot to disguise it when I said, "This is a stick-up!" but, even still he should be a little bit scared because it could have been a real robber who just sounded like me. So then he stops laughing when I just stand there and don't get out and he says, "why you little SOB!" and he grabs a broom and starts beating the bag with the handle and I don't like this because my head is in there.
So, I run out the door and my homies that were looking thru the window are laughing. I don't hang with loosers that would laugh at my crime spree so, I go home. Which was not so smart because my uncle called his brother and that is my dad. So, my dad says somebody tried to rob his brother and he has a description. He hands me a bag and says try it on so I do. Then he grabs a broom and starts beating the bag and my head is in the bag again.

What did I learn about being a successful criminal?
Put on a helmet before you put the bag on your head.

 

You should have walked into that store sporting a pellet gun. That would have struck fear in his heart.

" Don't make me cover you with welts, old man!!! "

 

No that's what I would have done.

 

I have told my dad more than once that if he don't stop hitting me with that broom, I will leave home for good. He keeps calling my bluff though.
I swear one day I'll do it!

This weekend, with him and his brother tattoeing my noggin was just about the last straw. I'm his own son! Sometimes I think he don't care if I did run away from home. He says, "Look, Damn it! You're 49 years old and you got no job! You never left home in your life! There's the door! The sound of it slamming would just break my heart, hahahahaha!"

Can you believe a father talking to his son like that?
I'm just surprised I haven't developed a complex from this treatment..

 

You know, complex short for complexion.
My mental complexion would become dark and foreboding such as when someone asks too many questions about what I did this weekend and then somebody else asks for an explanation the first time I use a multisyllable word.

I can't talk about this anymore, the cops are still looking for the paperbag bandit who goes by the nickname, 'Lumpy'.

 

I did two cars shows with my truck this weekend. I didn't win anything, but it's just great to hang with friends and both shows were in parks so it was a great setting to relax in.

 

Exactly, that's what I like to do on the weekends is just relax.