The new student ....
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Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2003
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From: Mount Airy,MD
The new student ....
Someone sent me this great joke. Slightly censored.
The New Student
It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some
American history.
"Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?' "
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who
had his hand up.
"Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said,
"Government of the people, by the people, for the
people, shall not perish from the earth?"
Again, no response except from Pedro: "Abraham
Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should
be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows
more about its history than you do!"
She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans!"
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who
said that?"
Again, Pedro answered, "George Bush to the Japanese
Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck
this!"
Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and
shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica
Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now, with almost a mob hysteria, teacher said, "You
little chit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you!"
Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice,
"Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh chit, we're in BIG trouble now!"
Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."
The New Student
It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some
American history.
"Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?' "
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who
had his hand up.
"Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said,
"Government of the people, by the people, for the
people, shall not perish from the earth?"
Again, no response except from Pedro: "Abraham
Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should
be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows
more about its history than you do!"
She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans!"
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who
said that?"
Again, Pedro answered, "George Bush to the Japanese
Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck
this!"
Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and
shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica
Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now, with almost a mob hysteria, teacher said, "You
little chit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you!"
Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice,
"Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh chit, we're in BIG trouble now!"
Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."
Good one.
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Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 6,182
Likes: 19
From: the moral high ground
An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
There was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
There was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
