The Joy of working with morons...
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From: Hammer Lane
The Joy of working with morons...
Originally Posted by inbred
Saw this when I got to work the other day, it just begged to be photographed and shared...
Amateurs.
If morons were fish, that would be the work of a guppy. We have whale sharks working for us.
Last edited by Odin's Wrath; Jun 11, 2005 at 10:07 AM.
Technical Article Contributor
Joined: May 2004
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From: Georgia on my mind...
I don't have pictures, but do I have stories...
Once upon a time, we had tech that did a head gasket job on a 3.8 liter Taurus. Finished it up, took it for a roadtest, came back and saw that he left the oil filler cap off. Sprayed oil all over the engine. He leaves it running and takes a can of brake cleen to clean off the excess oil. Got a little too close to the plug wires and WHOOSH! The whole building echoed, this sumbitch is running across the shop, smoke trailing from his head like Wile E. Coyote. Blew his eyebrows off and all the hairs on his arms.
Fast forward a couple days later. A friend of a friend in parts has connections with the fire department. He gets a fireman from the station down the street to show up during our daily morning meeting, asking about so-and-so and an "incident with a flammable material." Flame boy looks at the fireman, while we're all trying to keep from laughing our asses off, and say "Is this some kind of joke?" Ricky from the fire department, straight face, dead *** serious as ever, never-cracking-a-smile says, "Do I look like a joke to you?" I had to duck around the corner, my sides were getting ready to split laughing so hard. I swear the guy musta pooped an eggroll after he said that.
Once upon a time, we had tech that did a head gasket job on a 3.8 liter Taurus. Finished it up, took it for a roadtest, came back and saw that he left the oil filler cap off. Sprayed oil all over the engine. He leaves it running and takes a can of brake cleen to clean off the excess oil. Got a little too close to the plug wires and WHOOSH! The whole building echoed, this sumbitch is running across the shop, smoke trailing from his head like Wile E. Coyote. Blew his eyebrows off and all the hairs on his arms.
Fast forward a couple days later. A friend of a friend in parts has connections with the fire department. He gets a fireman from the station down the street to show up during our daily morning meeting, asking about so-and-so and an "incident with a flammable material." Flame boy looks at the fireman, while we're all trying to keep from laughing our asses off, and say "Is this some kind of joke?" Ricky from the fire department, straight face, dead *** serious as ever, never-cracking-a-smile says, "Do I look like a joke to you?" I had to duck around the corner, my sides were getting ready to split laughing so hard. I swear the guy musta pooped an eggroll after he said that.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 851
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From: ....I could be anywhere....
i work in a machine shop full of them..one guy ..the "janitor" cant even empty trash barrels without getting tangled up in metal chips and making a huge project of it...its quite a show on trash day...another guy (38 yrs experinance???) well...we give him things to do where the tolerances are in fractions...and still makes junk all day (i do stuff + - .0003 on a engine lathe 20"x90" and do ALL the welding)...and another guy has emphisema and all day long blames it on welding fumes(yeah rite)while he smokes 3 packs in 8 hrs...i've been welding all my life and have no resperatory problems what so ever...and i do not smoke...the world is full of morons...we deal with it as best we can 
...zap!
...zap!
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From: ....I could be anywhere....
but i almost forgot this one...how could i...we call this guy "********"...sets up a "carbide cutter roll" in the cylindrical grinder...forgets to tighten the driver "dog" to the journal (now this thing weighs 1200 lbs)...and starts grinding away...suddenly the "dog" gives out and now this roller is spinning 4X what the wheel speed is(1800rpm)....and is supposed to only go 40 -50 rpm... it took almost 1 hr to get it to stop...and these highly precision ball bearing centers are glowing orange hot...there all done...cost 400$ each...just imagine what would have happend if the centers gave out and snapped?...that roller would have gone thru the stock rack,welding area,the side wall and into the neighbors house..trust me...i waited outside till it was over...and believe me you can't make this stuff up i work in a dangerous place...zap!
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Joined: Aug 2002
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From: Fort Valley, Ga
Originally Posted by zapster
but i almost forgot this one...how could i...we call this guy "********"...sets up a "carbide cutter roll" in the cylindrical grinder...forgets to tighten the driver "dog" to the journal (now this thing weighs 1200 lbs)...and starts grinding away...suddenly the "dog" gives out and now this roller is spinning 4X what the wheel speed is(1800rpm)....and is supposed to only go 40 -50 rpm... it took almost 1 hr to get it to stop...and these highly precision ball bearing centers are glowing orange hot...there all done...cost 400$ each...just imagine what would have happend if the centers gave out and snapped?...that roller would have gone thru the stock rack,welding area,the side wall and into the neighbors house..trust me...i waited outside till it was over...and believe me you can't make this stuff up i work in a dangerous place...zap!
Last edited by Invalid_access; Jun 11, 2005 at 07:45 PM.
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Joined: Jan 2005
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From: ....I could be anywhere....
Originally Posted by Invalid_access
A machine shop is a very dangerous place anyway Zap. I've ran a torrent lathe a few times at my dads shop. When those drill bits snap shrapnell comes flying out at high speeds.
yes its not a pretty sight...and machinery dont say "oops sorry" after they bite you
...zap!
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Joined: May 2005
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From: Vancouver
about a dozen years ago ( old story but one of my favorite moron stories)
There was a pizza joint in a strip mall at the corner of two very busy streets.
The janitor started cleaning the pizza oven with gasoline. Burnt 1/2 the mall to the foundations and snarled morning rush hour traffic.
He survived the initial (sp) explosion. The pizza place never reoppened.
for all those who make us look brilliant.
Russell
There was a pizza joint in a strip mall at the corner of two very busy streets.
The janitor started cleaning the pizza oven with gasoline. Burnt 1/2 the mall to the foundations and snarled morning rush hour traffic.
He survived the initial (sp) explosion. The pizza place never reoppened.
for all those who make us look brilliant.Russell
