This should be fun. I also look forward to hear some from the Cops who frequent the board. They probably have better stories than most.

My Personal Best/Favorite:

I actually feel bad for doing this, it was pretty shameless, but it worked.

I was doing about 105MPH in a 50MPH zone on my VFR800. I saw the cop and new instantly he had me. I slowed to see if he would jump the median and give chase and sure enough... My mind was racing since going 65MPH OVER the limit is grounds for Felony Speeding which means jail time in NJ. I'm usually a pretty fast thinker and can get myself out of a jam real quick but I couldn't come up with a good one off the top of my head and I was REALLY sweating. When he finally got out of the car and marched up to me I decided to play dumb which I figured would be my only chance. He told me to get off the bike, shut it off, take off my helmet & produce a license & registration. I complied with all of these. He asked if I knew why I was pulled over. I said "I have no idea Officer". He was dumb-founded at that response. He asked if I was sure I didn't know. Again, "I have no idea". He got VERY upset at that point and said he would ask me just ONE more time. Again, "I have no idea, have I done something wrong?" At that point he exploded and shouted in my face "God-Damn it!!! Do you have any *****ing idea how fast you were going?!?!"

BINGO!!! Here was my oppurtunity... I immediately countered with, and this is a quote: "God & Little Baby Jesus had nothing to do with it!!! How dare you use the Lord's name in vain and blaspheme me!!! I want your badge #, supervisors name & a number to call and so I can file a complaint with your superiors"

The look on his face was priceless. He was shocked, started stammering and went a little pale. He said he ment no disrespect. I told him only GOD would forgive him for such things. At this point he was as nervous as I was and he handed me back my things and told me to slow down & have a nice day. I told him I would pray for him & I hoped to see him in church. I was pulled over about 50 miles from my house so there was no chance of that happening.

I really felt bad for about 10 minutes. I am not a religous person at all but I stil felt pretty bad until I realized that if I didn't do what I did, I would have probably ended up in jail or with a like $500 ticket and points on the license.

Man, I'm EVIL...

KC-10 FE out...

 

Well, never talked my self out of a ticket butt,

There is a stretch or I-10 across the atchafalaya basin. Its miles of elevated interstate with VERY strict speed limits. 55 is the limit. I was rolling about 70. I saw a person pulled on the shoulder with their trunk open like they had a flat. So being the nice guy i am I moved to the left lane to give them room. Well, Lo and Behold its a state trooper with his trunk open to hide the cruisers lights I slowed but it was too late. As i passed him he pointed at me and mad a very mean face. So i pulled over. I tried getting out of the car but he wouldnt let me. "liscense and registration" So he wrote me the ticket. As he hands me my stuff back he says "contact the iberville parish sherrifs dept about paying this" I smiled. He walks back to the cruiser, I pick up the cell phone. Dial my brother in law. (Iberville parish sherrifs deptuty) I ask if he can do anything about the ticket. "Give me the ticket and forget about it" Awesome. Ticket fixed before The trooper even pulled out from behind me. When he does pull out and passes me I just wave and smile knowing the ticket is already fixed

 

This is no lie:

Since i got my licence and truck @ 16, ive been pulled over 14 times - Never got a ticket. Im 21 now. Worst i got out of was a 42/20 and 57/40. Just smooth talk and cooperate and youll get out of it. Ive got out of a couple stop sign runs, peeling out, even caught by a deputy tresspassing on a local racetracks dirt parking lot to mud with a couple buddies...i got us out of that. Last year i went down to the bars to pick up " a couple" friends who needed a ride. Ended up having 27, yes 27 people including myself on,in, sitting on, or hanging onto my truck as i slowly treked back to the dorm. I got special permission from the head officer in town to do this, he knows me real well and trusted me to do it. (He arrested me last year for Minor in Possession, Open container, and urinating in public...oops!)

For some reason i dont get nervous when i get pulled over because i know that ill probley get out of it....its worked so far
Pulled over 14 times, got 2 warnings, 0 tickets....
I hope my luck holds out!!!!

 

Two incidents actually. One where I didn’t get a ticket, and the other where I did but was written up for a lot less than it should have been (should have been busted but wasn’t).

First was quite a few years ago. I was on Sunset Blvd. near Sunset Plaza. The area is covered by Sheriffs. Anyway, some lady crossed the street when she shouldn’t have. The car in front of me stops quickly to avoid her, I had to stop even quicker to avoid hitting the car in front of me. I slam on the brakes and skid to a stop with tires screeching. Going in the opposite direction is a sheriff. So the sheriff pulls a u-turn, hits the lights and pulls me over. He walks up to my car, asks for my license and registration and then asks:
“Soooo….what kind of stop do you call that?”
I, not being in the best of moods, say:
“Well, considering I didn’t hit the moron in front of me, I’d say it was a damn good stop.”
The sheriff starts laughing out loud ( I guess it was all in the delivery), and sez:
“Yeah, I’m going to agree with you on that.” He hands me back my license and sez:
“Cool it.”
Me: “You bet.”
No ticket. (Not that there really was a reason to get one)

The second one is Lightning related.

It was Christmas Day, 2000. I was driving my first Lighting (a Silver 2000 L) to my sister’s (from Lost Angeles to Phoenix) I had gotten past Palm Springs and once you are East of P.S. and up the mountain, the ground kind of swells up and down repeatedly for a number of miles….

Anyway, it’s Christmas Day, the road is wide open, and I am going fast. Around 130+ (yeah, I know, stupid).
Anyway, I crest this hill and there is CHP, way down at the bottom of the hill, parked in the center median.
Busted. I didn’t even bother passing, I just slowed down and when I reached his patrol car I pulled over next to his car. They had radar so I knew I was toast.
He walks over to me.
Me: “Good Morning.”
CHP: “Good Morning Sir. That was considerate of you for not making me chase you.”
Me: “Well, you know, it’s Christmas. Consider it a present of sorts.”
CHP: "Do you know haw fast you were going?"
Me: "Is this a trick question?"
The officer turns his head left to right to look the length of the truck. (Remember, this was 2000 so the L was still fairly knew and rare)
CHP: "Hey, this is one of those Lightnings isn’t it?"
Me: "Yes it is. You know about these?"
CHP: "Yeah, I’ve heard of it. Tell me, how fast is it really?"
Me: "Well, let me put it to you this way . . . if I didn’t want you to catch me, you couldn’t." (I doubt that was true, but it sounded good at the time)
CHP: (Long Pause) . . . "Mind if I look at the engine?"
Whereupon it became a show and tell exercise. I showed him the engine (he was impressed), the interior, everything. He loved it!!!! He was so jazzed by the L and said he really wanted to get one.
As for the ticket, the speed limit was 75 and he wrote me up for 90 (I think that’s what it was…) . . . whatever, he wrote me up for 15 MPH over the limit which is the allowable limit that lets you take the class so as to expunge the violation from your record.
I gladly accepted the ticket, especially since he could have seriously busted my a$$.
Right before I go he asks: “When you headed back to LA?”
ME: “Day after tomorrow.”
CHP: “Well, I’ll tell you. I’ll be working that day. I’ll be looking for you. I don’t care how fast this truck goes or how nice it is, don’t let me see you driving this fast again.”
Me: “Absolutely! Thank you. Merry Christmas.”
The L got me into trouble and got me out.



I miss that truck.

 

When I was in the USMC I could just whip out my military ID.....got me out of about 95% of the time. The other 5% was because the cop was in a pissy mood.

 

For everyone that I've talked myself out of I've gotten 2 more at another time.

But one of the funniest ones,
It was late night early morning, I was a young guy had been out cruising for some honnies. Had a 2 in the truck that I had picked up and we were going to lewave town to go to a party. On the way through town, I had forgot to turn on my headlights. That is a sign of being drunk so A city cop seen me ande pulled me over plus caught me doing 52 in a 35. He walks up and ask.."Does this thing have any lights on it?" I look at him a little confused for a second, then it dawns on me and I reach down and turn them on and say, "What do you know, they work too."
He laughed for a little while and then says "You guys slow it down and be careful. "I say "Alright, Thank you sir!" I'm gladd he didn't search it was a BYOB party and thier was alcohol all over under and behind the the seat. Phew that was close!

 

It's our discretion as to whether you get a ticket or not. Be straight forward and leave the smart azz comments to professionals! This may or may not help your case. Women offering BJ's doesn't work either.....
You people would be shocked at what every other person offers to keep from getting a ticket!

All three of those offensives can be written on a state citation(same as a speeding ticket). If you were arrested, then you had to get at least 3 tickets....

Also, a lot of times we (at least our department) write the minimum fine and less than 10 mph over just to avoid court times. If there is no further reduction in points and fines, then there is no other reason to show up for court unless you want to plead innocent. Helps keep the docket small and our time in court to a minimum. 25 mph and over and you get the full load!

As for getting out of a ticket, I had a man tell me he had to really go to the bathroom #2 once and unfortunetly he had more offensives than just speeding. He DID have to do #2, however, it was while in handcuffs in my back seat. Took forever to get that funk out.

 

Well, I have never been able to talk my way out of a speeding ticket. From my first week of driving until 18, I think I averaged one every three months or so. Needless to say, I lost my license for awhile.
The only time I talked my way out of anything was what could have been drunk driving. I was 19 but I partied with my older brother and his crowd. I meet them all after work one night at a local club and proceeded to get a little bit drunk. When we left, it was determined that I was probably the most sober of the bunch and I had to drive about 7 of us home in a 84 Dodge Charger.
Well, apparently I crossed the yellow line a few times with a cop behind me (didn't see him) and he pulled me over.
He asked for my license and asked if we had been drinking.
Well, I told him I wasn't old enough to drink, i had just gotten off work (still had my work clothes on) and had to come and pick up all these drunks to keep them safe. I was mad and tired and just wanted to get them home so I could go to bed.
he told me to be careful and let us go! No one could believe what just happened.

 

I got caught running 83 in a 55, I thought fast of how to get out of this and when he asked why I was in such a hurry I squezed my eyes together and grabed my gut and said I was trying to get to the bathroom. Well, the pecker still gave me a ticket. So while he was writing I did it again and then I spread my legs a little and sighed with relief and asked him if he has some plastic or something so I wouldn't get my seats messed up!!! Now if I was a cop I would let someone off for the sh'ts. Maybe he knew I was lying but I am a good actor!

 

I can't believe you guys get out of tickets!

I've fought one, and got off because the cop didn't show up.

I had one cop get another call right as he pulled me over, so he left with lights & siren blazing.

I had one pretty cool cop bust me in an Acura Integra I used to have. He pulled me over in a 70mph zone out by Palm Springs in the desert. We shot the s#it a little bit - he was pretty cool - and then asked me if I wanted a ticcket for doing 85 in a 70 zone, or 115 in a 70 zone. And if I chose 115, by the way, he'd have to take my license and impound my car...

Needless to say, I chose 85

 

craig41071,

He stroked you because EVERYBODY uses the old "I'm gonna crap in my pants" line...Its been played out

 

I got out of a ticket for my license plates once.

It took a minute, but when the cop finally figured out what my plate meant, he busted a gut laughing, and let me off with a warning. I was stopped for 76 in a 65.

Oh, my plates read like this.

H8CATS