REVISED Living WIll from Florida
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From: DETROIT, (formerly Eaton County, Michigan)
REVISED Living WIll from Florida
Revised Living Will Form for Florida
I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind and body, unequivocally declare that in the event of a catastrophic injury, I do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
I hereby instruct my loved ones and relatives to remove all life-support systems, once it has been determined that my brain is no longer functioning in a cognizant realm.
However, that judgment should be made only after thorough consultation with medical experts; i.e., individuals who actually have been trained, educated and certified as doctors.
Under no circumstances -- and I can't state this too strongly -- should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.
Furthermore, it is my firm hope that, when the time comes, any discussion about terminating my medical treatment should remain private and confidential. Living in Florida, however, I am acutely aware that the legislative and executive branches of state government are fond of meddling in family matters, and have little concern for the privacy and dignity of individuals. Therefore, I wish to make my views on this subject as clear and unambiguous as possible.
Recognizing that some politicians seem cerebrally challenged themselves (and with no medical excuse), I'll try to keep this simple and to the point:
1. While remaining sensitive to the feelings of loved ones who might cling to hope for my recovery, let me state that if a reasonable amount of time passes -- say, ____ (fill in the blank) months -- and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.
When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and call it a day.
2. Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education and future of the millions of Floridians who aren't in a permanent coma.
3. Under no circumstances shall the governor of Florida butt into this case and order my doctors to put a feeding tube down my throat. I don't care how many fundamentalist votes he's trying to scrounge for, it is my wish that he plays politics with someone else's life and leaves me to die in peace.
4. I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business, too.
5. It is my heartfelt wish to expire quietly and without a public spectacle. This is obviously impossible once elected officials become involved. So, while recognizing the wrenching emotions that attend the prolonged death of a loved one, I hereby instruct my relatives to settle all disagreements about my care in private or in the courts, as provided by law. If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make his or her existence a living ____ (fill in the blank).
I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind and body, unequivocally declare that in the event of a catastrophic injury, I do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
I hereby instruct my loved ones and relatives to remove all life-support systems, once it has been determined that my brain is no longer functioning in a cognizant realm.
However, that judgment should be made only after thorough consultation with medical experts; i.e., individuals who actually have been trained, educated and certified as doctors.
Under no circumstances -- and I can't state this too strongly -- should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.
Furthermore, it is my firm hope that, when the time comes, any discussion about terminating my medical treatment should remain private and confidential. Living in Florida, however, I am acutely aware that the legislative and executive branches of state government are fond of meddling in family matters, and have little concern for the privacy and dignity of individuals. Therefore, I wish to make my views on this subject as clear and unambiguous as possible.
Recognizing that some politicians seem cerebrally challenged themselves (and with no medical excuse), I'll try to keep this simple and to the point:
1. While remaining sensitive to the feelings of loved ones who might cling to hope for my recovery, let me state that if a reasonable amount of time passes -- say, ____ (fill in the blank) months -- and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.
When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and call it a day.
2. Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education and future of the millions of Floridians who aren't in a permanent coma.
3. Under no circumstances shall the governor of Florida butt into this case and order my doctors to put a feeding tube down my throat. I don't care how many fundamentalist votes he's trying to scrounge for, it is my wish that he plays politics with someone else's life and leaves me to die in peace.
4. I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business, too.
5. It is my heartfelt wish to expire quietly and without a public spectacle. This is obviously impossible once elected officials become involved. So, while recognizing the wrenching emotions that attend the prolonged death of a loved one, I hereby instruct my relatives to settle all disagreements about my care in private or in the courts, as provided by law. If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make his or her existence a living ____ (fill in the blank).
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From: Rochester NY
Re: REVISED Living WIll from Florida
Originally posted by l-menace
Under no circumstances -- and I can't state this too strongly -- should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.
4. I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business, too.
Under no circumstances -- and I can't state this too strongly -- should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.
4. I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business, too.
Last edited by fatman66; Mar 29, 2005 at 07:18 PM.
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From: 49 45' 40.76"N 119 10' 12.84"W Sol III ᐰ
Originally posted by RockyJSquirrel
You know the Bush brothers are on the wrong side of the fence when Jesse Jackson agrees with their position.
L-Menace, can I print that out for my own personal use?
You know the Bush brothers are on the wrong side of the fence when Jesse Jackson agrees with their position.
L-Menace, can I print that out for my own personal use?
great post
post a downloadable version so we can all use it...
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From: Friendswood, Texas
let me state that if a reasonable amount of time passes -- say, ____ (fill in the blank) months -- and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.
Dave...
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From: NH
Excellent, but I already have a simple one that should leave NO question… 
My will:
”If I, Burt, who has always been right, happen to succumb to a medical condition that leaves any question if I would survive on my own, without the use of medical equipment, I ask one simple test be performed to see if any recover is possible.
The test:
Bring in a legal age, hot, virgin and in a normal voice make the following announcement “Burt, here is a legal age virgin, check her out, she is freaking hot, hot, hot…”
Wait approximately 30 – 60 seconds. If there is no, ah, movement, no flag pole present, no smell of burning wood, etc. you are to conclude there is no hope of future recover. Clock me out, pack me up, turn out the lights and go about your business…
My will:
”If I, Burt, who has always been right, happen to succumb to a medical condition that leaves any question if I would survive on my own, without the use of medical equipment, I ask one simple test be performed to see if any recover is possible.
The test:
Bring in a legal age, hot, virgin and in a normal voice make the following announcement “Burt, here is a legal age virgin, check her out, she is freaking hot, hot, hot…”
Wait approximately 30 – 60 seconds. If there is no, ah, movement, no flag pole present, no smell of burning wood, etc. you are to conclude there is no hope of future recover. Clock me out, pack me up, turn out the lights and go about your business…
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From: Blue Ridge Mountains, GA
BIG loophole in the first sentence of that living will.
That's one the atheists and agnostics don't understand. We do care about Terri. Someone must speak for those who can't. That's also what lawyers are for.
I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me.
That's one the atheists and agnostics don't understand. We do care about Terri. Someone must speak for those who can't. That's also what lawyers are for.
