Aliens
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From: Houston and Lil ol' England
Aliens
Two aliens landed in the New Mexico desert near a gas station that was
closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps, and the younger of the two aliens addressed it and its round glass face.
"Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."
The gas pump (of course) didn't respond. The younger alien started to get
mad at the lack of response, and the older alien said, "I wouldn't do that if
I were you."
The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated the greeting. Again,
there was no response.
Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, the younger alien drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I will fire!"
The older alien again warned his comrade, "You don't want to do that. You
really don't want to make him mad!"
"Rubbish," replied the younger alien. He aimed his weapon at the gas pump and fired. There was a huge gas explosion.
A massive fireball roared outwards and towards him and blew the younger
alien off his feet and deposited him in a burnt and crumpled mess 200 yards away in a cactus patch.
Thirty-five Earth minutes later, when he finally regained consciousness,
refocused his three eyes, and straightened his bent antenna, he looked
dazedly up at the wiser one, who was standing over him, slowly shaking his big green head.
"What a ferocious creature," said the young fried one. "It darn near killed
us! How did you know it was so dangerous?"
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler onto the crispy,
peeling flesh of the younger alien, and shared some knowledge.
"If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through the galaxy,"
said the wise old alien. "When a guy has a ***** he can wrap around himself twice and then stick it in his ear, you don't f*ck with him."
closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps, and the younger of the two aliens addressed it and its round glass face.
"Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."
The gas pump (of course) didn't respond. The younger alien started to get
mad at the lack of response, and the older alien said, "I wouldn't do that if
I were you."
The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated the greeting. Again,
there was no response.
Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, the younger alien drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I will fire!"
The older alien again warned his comrade, "You don't want to do that. You
really don't want to make him mad!"
"Rubbish," replied the younger alien. He aimed his weapon at the gas pump and fired. There was a huge gas explosion.
A massive fireball roared outwards and towards him and blew the younger
alien off his feet and deposited him in a burnt and crumpled mess 200 yards away in a cactus patch.
Thirty-five Earth minutes later, when he finally regained consciousness,
refocused his three eyes, and straightened his bent antenna, he looked
dazedly up at the wiser one, who was standing over him, slowly shaking his big green head.
"What a ferocious creature," said the young fried one. "It darn near killed
us! How did you know it was so dangerous?"
The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler onto the crispy,
peeling flesh of the younger alien, and shared some knowledge.
"If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through the galaxy,"
said the wise old alien. "When a guy has a ***** he can wrap around himself twice and then stick it in his ear, you don't f*ck with him."
na-nu na-nu \\\///
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From: Somewhere near the back of beyond
