What kind of dip***** lets the phone ring 19 times?

I don't have voice mail on my cell phone because anyone important can leave a message on my house phone, and everyone else can **** off anyways.

Besides, I refuse to pay $5.95 a month for 'enhanced voicemail" screw that.

So I come home, grab the paper and leave the cell phone on the kitchen counter.
There I am taking a leisurely dump when the cell phone starts ringing.

19 frikking times! ... and it's one of those annoying cell phone ring tones where one ring last 12 seconds.

What goes through the mind of the caller?
"Hmm, it's been 13 rings and still no answer" "Hmmm, maybe if I just let it keep ringing he will pick it up"

Hello!! Are you a *******ing retard?
If it's not answered in 7 or 8 rings, **** off and try again later ya stupid ***!

The only reason it was 19 times was because after that the mobile company answers with a pre-recorded message.

 

Habibi, at your age, an aggrevation like that probably did you some good. I'll bet you were so tense you squeezed off some perfect one's without the need of TP.

 

Since we're on the subject of taking a dump...

Another point I wish to bring up is when you're taking a dump on the airplane and some ahole knocks on the door "knock, knock, knock"

Hello?

Obviously you tried the door and it's LOCKED, and the OCCUPIED light is all lit up, and... there's 5 people waiting in line, obviously someone is in here taking a dump so calm the ******* down, relax and wait your turn.
Banging on the door is not gonna make me finish any faster.

Dumbass

 

The one that bugs me is when I get to use the plane toilet after habibi.
Then when I'm done, I open the door and there's a real cutie waiting to use it next.
You can't explain that it wasn't you who stunk the place up, it was that big fat guy down front.




No, the one that really bugs me with planes is people bringing HUGE roller cases on as hand luggage and trying to cram them in the overhead bins.
They should make them check them in.

 

That's happened to me, too! Didn't follow Habibi, but I took the fall for the smell, which nearly choked me when I entered, BTW...

There is absolutely nothing you can say that doesn't dig the hole deeper...

 

Alright already, you guys got me.

I'm not gonna sit here and pretend "my chit dont stink"
Because im telling you right now, it DOES stink, and im proud of it.
At least I can admit it and not keep myself indenial and pretend my chit smells like a bed of roses like some people'

As a matter of fact, I pitty the foo who has to use the chitter after me

 

Now this is what I call a good thread..

You guys been spending too much time at ratemypoo.com

 

Going to F150online ... clicking a link, and it NOT opening in a new window.


I had to say it

 

Too numerous to list....

 

Yea, that's my sig your clicking on.

I didn't link to that web site, 2 reasons, didn't know how to and am not sure the site is something you really want to see. There are truly some people out there with way too much spare time.

 

That bugs me so much that I have a small confession to make:
Don't tell anyone because I'm kinda ashamed.... shhhhhh....

You know when they board, they always say
"1st and bidness class peoples can now board"

then they wait 5 minutes, and then they say
"people with small children and disabilities can now board"

Sometimes I get on the plane then....

Lemmee explain...

I get so fed up with all these ignorant Europeans with all these huge golf bag size carry on luggage, that I will weazal on the plane early just to make sure I have space in the overhead bin.

It's a real pain in the nuts when you get to your seat, you open all the overhead luggage bins, and they are crammed full!

Now where I put my own huge carry on bag? My laptop bag? My backgammon board? The other big bag I have filled with booze and t-shirts? WhereI gonna put all that stuff?

So I tell a itty bitty white lie, get my **** on the plane early, and then I can fill up an entire overhead bin all by myself, and not worry about running out of room.

If I sit on the left, I always choose the overhead bin on the right, just down a bit so I can keep a full visual on my stuff at all times.

Remember, don't tell anyone about my airplane scam, but feel free to use it if you want.

 

I hate it when hot flight attendants won't join my Mile High Club

 

I hate it when the fat ones want to.

 

Will someone get HABIBI a happy meal!!!!

I know how you feel. I left anger mangement classes because the dumb B!@ch running class would pi$$ me off to the point I could have beat her with a chair and put the lamp in her.... never mind I'm getting pi$$ed just thinking about it. Funny thing though. I married a psych nurse.

I have beer and F150 online now and all is well.....

 

The old bag next door (who never comes outside except to check her mail) called the cops on me today for blocking the sidewalk with my truck as I changed my shocks.