Probably 160mph on my bike on that long bridge between Tampa and St. Petersburg...while wearing shorts/t-shirt/sneakers and an Ipod blasting in my helmet....

racing on the highways in and outside Boston

Got into roadrage with an 18-wheeler... on my bike. He tried to turn into me, and I kept on jamming my brakes to see how close his bumper could come to my rear wheel. No joke either.

tangled with an Asian gang in a ricer. Basically, dude pulled over and got a piece out of his trunk, and I, not having a piece myself, just torched *** outta there.

harassed some nuns at a convent. No joke either. Prank calls and crapped all over their bathroom floor with an equally sick friend of mine.

While sitting around a campfire with friends, tossed in a bic lighter.

Kinda accidentally killed my roommates kitten. I was throwing it against the sofa, it would bounce back, it seemed to enjoy it too, then, after one too many throws.... well, I don't want to gross you guys out...

Dug up a grave. However, to our credit, we did NOT get caught. Some copycats did the same thing after hearing about our venture, and the idiots brought the skull to school. they ALL got busted.

filled a coffee can with newspaper, lit it on fire, and proceeded to throw in a handful of .22 bullets.

lit a fountain in the middle of a dry hay field. torched a couple of acres.

raced a crazy *** cabbie in NYC up Park Ave. Paid for it with a busted frame.




And that's about all I can think of right now, I know there are probably more. Please keep in mind though, most of this crap was done before I turned 20.














Oh yeah, and too many female-related stories to post. No time, nor space.

 

I knew there was a reason I liked you Beanie...

 

no wonder you have no fear of dzervit's sport bike killin F-150.

 

The diff is I bet the ******* trucker hit the brakes, not the gas...

 

The irony is that I'm sure some of you think some of those items are either BS or exaggerated. I assure you (some of them sadly) they are not.

I'm still bothered by the kitten to this very day, and that was many years ago...

As for the rig, you had to have been there. Basically, when I'm on my bike, I'm the one people make reference to by the phrase, "Someday you're going to tangle with the wrong person...".

That day, a friend and I were biking to some bike dealership to look at some gear. To get there, we had to take Rte. 128 on a Friday afternoon, which is 4 lanes of pure mayhem, as is evident by the events that took place on that day... Anyway, the game of chicken with the rig was actually the second event on that fine afternoon.

The first victim was actually a school bus. More accurately, one of those short buses associated with transporting the mentally ill. In a NUTshell, the short bus decided to "punch it" when my buddy made for a spot in front of him, and missed his rear tire by mere inches. So, I rode up beside the mobile bughouse, and saw that the driver was this long, greasy, haired partially bald, emaciated old guy with glasses and a seriously bad complexion, whom one could easily convince a jury he took advantage of, and committed multiple counts of sodomy upon his ill begotten cargo. Sitting behind him, in the first seat, was some kid who, lets just say, definitely looked like he did not take the wrong bus. I got his attention, and gave him the finger. You know what he does next? He jabs his steering wheel such that he pretends he's going to turn into me.

Wrong thing to do to the wrong person.






WHAM! Fist nails the first mirror...

KA-POW! First nails secondary mirror mounted up front at the corner of the hood.

To my somewhat surprise, neither mirror shattered. I guess school bus mirrors are now made of some sort of highly reflective shatter proof plastic? I all did was knock both out of alignment, but it didn't matter, he backed way off after that. I'm sure given his career choice, he didn't exactly want to have a discussion with the State police regarding the event...

So that pretty much set the "mood". A few minutes and miles up, I saw this rig "push" a car into the grass that was driving in the breakdown lane while traffic had slowed to a crawl, and that seriously set me off because of another thing I had done a few years back, namely, played chicken with a rig who was doing the same thing to me, although he actually hit my car and wedged me against the guardrail.

I then grabbed my "Club" security device from the back seat, burst out of my car, and went to give him a beat-down. He didn't want to get out, and I was basically standing in the middle of a highway waving the Club in air demanding he come out and get his **** beaten. He whipped out his phone and called the State police, and it got kind of ugly from there. Didn't get arrested because the cop knew what the truck driver was trying to do, but I did get a big lecture about how I could have been charged with assault, or how he might have been armed... :jerkoff:

That's another thing I like about my Lariat, I'm always comfortable within its plush leather-esque seats, and have found that it seriously calms me down in traffic.

Anyway, I gotta get some sleep...

 

1.) When I was a child, I was already into women, I just didn't know many; so- I dialed "0", and talked nasty to the Operator, then hung up.

To my surprise, the Operator called back, I was busy playing when my Mom answered the phone. Everything was OK, then I heard my Mom say; He said what? He wanted to stick his what, where? Anticipating the butt-whipping I was about to receive, I hid from my Mom, that just made it worse. Thus went my talking dirty on the telephone. I must've been 6 or 7; but I still remember that butt-whipping to this day. Most of my friends were 8, 9, 10- and were already a bad influence on my young mind- when it came to women.

2.) My Mom smoked, no biggie right? One day, she had the flame set way-high on the lighter- and I was like- "oooooh". Being faciniated with light/fire, etc. I wondered how bright could that lighter make a dark place. After church we came home, and I took my Mom's lighter and found the darkest place I could to conduct my experiment. Under my Mom's bed. I lit the flame and sure enough it lit the darkness, and it also lit the mesh under the matress, and began to spread. I went and got a cup of water to doush what was a quarter-size fire when I left, only to return under the bed to see 50% of it on fire. I called for my Mom to help, and after my 5'4" 110 lb mom yanked off a mattress from a Queen-sized bed. and hustled the box spring down the hallway (alone) and put the fire out- I got the worse butt whipping of my life; and rightfully so. I almost burned the house down, had the flame caught the bedspread or curtains.

I must've been in the 2nd grade when I did that.

Fortunately, those were youthful indiscretions, and my Mom got me righted before I went on to even more stupid events. There were more, some of which include a brush with the Law, but- all in all, I did well after that.

 

The stupidest thing I ever did was as a freshman in college I went out for chicken wings with a bunch of the other football players and got dared/ peer pressured by the upper classmen into eating my number of what the place called wings of death. I tried a dozen and they were hot but not too bad, little did I know that the joke at this place was to make the next dozen hotter and so on and so forth... I wore number 66 and damed if I didn't eat 66 of those f*cking hot wings (and big ones too, not the little scrawny kind). I was too full even to puke and my mouth was numb. Worst hangover I ever had was from those wings, I was out of commission for almost three days.