The death of a nice guy thread was a great one, and my recent experience holds true to it. I'll try to make a long story short. I am not one to go on lots of dates and really don't even like dating. A few weeks ago I met a girl that changed my mind about dating. I knew her for a while and she gave every indication that she would also like to go out. Finally last Sunday I asked her out and she said "sure" and seemed thrilled about it. I got her phone number and said I'd call tomorrow. All was good and it looked like we would at least go hang out together and have some fun. On a side note, I am 20 and she is 16. When I called her the next day, she didn't sound like the same person I was talking to before. She made an excuse on why she couldn't go out Monday night and said her parents didn't like the idea. I got a hint that she didn't want to go out but she also said they might be ok with it if we went with some friends. I said great and I'll get something set up. My cousin and her new boyfriend would be glad to go with us. The next day, Tuesday, my cousin talked to this girl I was going to go out with. She told my cousin that she didn't want to go out and basically the whole thing was off. My cousin called me last night to tell me and was more upset about it not working out than I was. I still think it was her parents that said no and not really her. I will be talking to her in a few days so I'll see what she is willing to say face to face. Oh well, I've never lost anything I'd ever miss. The nice guy loses once more and here I go again on my own. Maybe she was too young for me but I wasn't planning to do anything with her that I wouldn't do with my own mom. (There's that fatal nice guy flaw in me). She seems like a real nice girl that would appreciate a nice guy but it looks like I was wrong. At least it didn't cost me anything $$.

Advise?

 

It all depends on the type of girl she is. Is she the type whose parents really WOULD care if she went out with a 20 yr old?

If she were my daughter, I would certainly be wary. So, if you're really that smitten with this girl, ask her flat out if it's her parents who object or if it's just that she changed her mind.

If it IS her parents, go over and meet them first; fear of the unknown is tough on us dads.

 

IMO...let her go...

 

1) You should not go out with a girl that is 16. Wait until they are at least 18. Her parents did you a big favor.

2) There is nothing wrong with being told no when you ask a girl out. Don't take it personal. If I had a dollar for every time I was turned down, I'd be able to buy a new Ford GT. It took me years to find the right one. My wife is my best friend. Keep at it, and you'll find the right one.

 

To heck with age thing - have your fun. However, being 16 she has no clue what she wants. Women twice her age are just as screwy (no offense ladies, but your all nuts). Drop it and find a new target for your affection. Your better off.

 

As said before - her parents did you a favor. All it takes is a rumor to the parents that you had any sexual contact with her and you could be in a world of trouble. People will see that age gap and automatically think the worst.

You're only twenty. Go out - have fun and not be serious. Once its serious life changes dramatically.

 

I hear ya man, My gf is 17 and Im 20. I get all kinds of looks and laughs when I tell people that even though most guys date younger.

At least you asked, now you wont be kicking yourself in a few years wondering "What if..." Go out, have some fun and if you still havent found Ms Right try her again in 2 years.

Besides you really didnt want to go to another prom did you? Youd be the only guy there that could buy booze.

31C

 

4 years age difference is nothing if you are 28 and 24, but if you are 20 and 16 then it is huge. If she feels uncomfortable for whatever reason, then move on. It ain't worth the aggravation.

 

this situation would probably be easier if you lived in Arkansas. And were related.

j/k AR folks.

Wait until she is 17 or 18, whatever the laws are in your state. Of course by then you'd have forgotten about her. I tend to believe that it is her parents that are concerned with the age difference, I don't think she's to blame. But who knows...

 

http://www.joked.com/view.php?id=855...nr=1&total=750

I think that fits nicely with this topic.

31C

 

LMMFAO, now ain’t that the truth!!!!!!!


I agree with most these people that even though 4 years is nothing for age difference it is or can be a HUGE difference for 16 to 20. I have a 15 year old daughter and no way would I let her date a 19 year old.

Is that fair? Don’t matter I have a shotgun and would not hesitate for a moment to use it because I know how “most” guys are. I guess what sucks is if my daughter was 20 and her boyfriend was 24 it wouldn’t matter to me at all. Just something about age difference when they are younger, just being honest…

Another thing to think about is it is MOST likely her parents and since she is 16 and very young she is at the age where everything is a big deal, lots of pressure blah, blah, blah, so do her a favor and not pressure her or make her feel bad or guilty for something that is most likely out of here control.

That could pay off nicely in 2 more years…

 

When I was 16, my bf was 20. I actually met him when I was 15 and was with him for 3 years. Didn't work out though.

 

Age ain't nothing but a number!

 

Thanks for all the advise. I didn't see a problem with the age difference but her parents are definately the type that would. They are a big time Christian family and I'm sure everything has to be by the book to them. Still it seems that if she wanted to go out, she would put a lot more effort into it. There are very few girls that I want to spend any time with and none in my sights right now. I was willing to make an exception for this girl but I need to devote all my time to my business.
I'll talk to her Sunday and get her side of the story so I'll give an update then. I am not mad or upset over the deal at all, just a little stirred up that it didn't work out when things were finally starting to come together. I will say one thing about the whole deal, and that is the fact that I am really glad I asked. Two years ago I worked with a girl who really wanted to go out with me. I wasn't at the point where I wanted to date (barely there now) and I did nothing but 'think' about asking her out. Months went by and she just waited for me to say the magic words. She ended up moving on after giving up on me. I never asked and now I regret that more than anything. Who knows what might have been. Maybe they'll be another like that one soon and I won't miss the boat again.

 

The rule is she has to be half your age, plus seven. You're 20, so you need 17 at a minimum. Once you get older, that rule changes to you just need to be younger than her parents. By at least one year