Starting the New Year ...
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Senior Member
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,922
Likes: 1
From: Lexington, KY
Starting the New Year ...
Found this and just had to share ... Happy New Year, brothers ...
SIXTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN
by Dave Barry
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human
race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential,
that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and
compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even
remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can
see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other
people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age
eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of
age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is
that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above
average drivers.
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a
nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone
amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the
Titanic.
FINAL Thought for the day:
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to
women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into
something acceptable to have dinner with.
SIXTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN
by Dave Barry
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human
race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential,
that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and
compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even
remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can
see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other
people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age
eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of
age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is
that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above
average drivers.
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a
nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone
amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the
Titanic.
FINAL Thought for the day:
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to
women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into
something acceptable to have dinner with.
Senior Member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 437
Likes: 0
Re: Starting the New Year ...
Originally posted by SVT_KY
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
Originally posted by SVT_KY
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and
compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and
compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
Senior Member
Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 4,565
Likes: 0
From: NJ
Re: Starting the New Year ...
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human
race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential,
that word would be "meetings."
How about the Dilbert principle that a drunk chimpanzee can do a managers job as well if not better.
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
I erased that line a while ago.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and
compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
Still waiting ....
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
So very true.
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into
something acceptable to have dinner with.
OUCH
Member
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 37
Likes: 0
From: League City, TX
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
I see the line, and I know I shouldn't cross it, but I did! And I liked it! So what if my friends and family keep threatening to send me to the Henry Ford Clinic!
Ox
I see the line, and I know I shouldn't cross it, but I did! And I liked it! So what if my friends and family keep threatening to send me to the Henry Ford Clinic!
Ox