Friday Funnies.

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Old Oct 3, 2003 | 12:38 PM
  #1  
rdy2rac with's Avatar
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From: Hazel Park, MI
Talking Friday Funnies.

Just a few emails my boss got today. Enjoy.

Two guys are moving about in a supermarket when their carts collide. One says to the other, "Excuse me, but I'm looking for my wife." "What a coincidence, so am I, and I'm getting a little desperate." "Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?" "She's tall, with blonde hair, long legs, firm *****, and a tight ***. What's your wife look like?"......."Never mind, let's look for yours."

Did you ever stop and wonder......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car pool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If Wile E. Coyote from the Road Runner had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

 
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Old Oct 3, 2003 | 01:06 PM
  #2  
closer9's Avatar
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Joined: Feb 2003
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From: SW MO
LMFAO!!!!!

I never realized the same tune thing, and was sitting here singing them both before I read the next line... I feel so stupid... how did you know...
 
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Old Oct 3, 2003 | 03:05 PM
  #3  
Raoul's Avatar
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Joined: Feb 1999
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From: the moral high ground
Talking

WebCam !

(we were all laughing at you)
 
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Old Oct 3, 2003 | 03:14 PM
  #4  
flafonman's Avatar
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Joined: Jul 2002
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From: Central Florida
Just don't get caught singing Happy Birthday or you'll have to send somebody a check.

Happy Birthday
 
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