I'm flipping through the channels one night, and I start watching "Wheel of Fortune" near the end of the show.

The puzzle was "Person"
The puzzle board displayed the following:

NELSON
-ANDELA

So the black woman whose turn it was says "I'd like to spin"
So I'm thinking to myself, "look at the greedy biatch, she's gonna land on "bankrupt" and lose everything.

So she spins the wheel and it lands on "$3,500"
I'm thinking "right on, a free extra 3 grand, she's got *****"

I swear to God, she then says:
"I'd like a "P" please"

Man, I started laughing for a good 10 minutes, I pity the poor girl when she went back to work and had to face all her colleagues, LOL LOL

Anyone else have any good examples of stupid people?

Habibi

 

I like when people put their stupidity in writing.
A friend of mine was out servicing newspaper racks. He is new at it, but he follows instructions well, asks when ever he doesn't know something, and in general does a good job.
About two years ago, the company raised the price of the paper from 35 cents to 50 cents, and also replaced the old mechanical coin collecting boxes with electronic ones, with which I am familiar.
He called me this morning (because he didn't want to look dumb to his boss) and asked me what he should do when he found a note taped to one of the machines. I said "What did it say?" He told me he thought it said it didn't work. I asked him to read it to me and while he was looking for it, I told him if it doesn't work there would be a lot of unsold papers in the rack. He thought it appeared to work based on the amount of papers sold. I said sometimes it will work with the service equipment, but not with actual coins, and if that's the case he could call tech out and they would test it. I was givng him all the technical details and possibilities when he found the note(s):
(It turns out there were two, both in the same handwriting)
"Please fix this machine
It rarely works the first time
Thank You"

"This thing is a piece
of junk. After 10
tries of a quarter, 1
nickle, 2 dimes, All
American Money, I
decided to keep feeding
it to see how much a 25 (cent)
paper would cost.
Todays total 40 (cents)
Yes, I pushed the door all the
way in, before I started."

I started laughing so hard, my friend asked "So I shouldn't call tech then, should I?" When I had quit laughing for a minute, I said he should write the following note and place it there:
"Thank you for notifying us that the rack allowed you to insert 40 cents to get a 50 cent paper. You owe us a dime. Please insert 60 cents tomorrow."

 

Today in a government class (This is college mind you, that's right college) this stain (that's what I call worthless people) setting in front of me asks what I would hope most would agree is,.. well, just plain stupid.

He raises his hand and says "I see in our book it talks about Congress, are we going to talk about the House of Representatives too?"

This is a great example of why mommy and daddy SHOULD NOT pay for college when there are bathrooms everywhere that this kid could be cleaning!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

To make matters worse (even the professor could not help but let a laugh slip out on this one) some girl (not blonde either) really did not know the difference between Osama, and Sadam, and actually ask the professor to explain the difference!!

 

well.....stupidity...let me tell you a story.....about....me.....today.

I have been low on deoderant so I aquired 2 new sticks yesterday, put them in my car to bring them home. Well I forgot the 2 sticks of speed stick in my can when I got home. So today after work I go out to my car to come home and I notice how it smells like speed stick. Very overpowering so I thought I would put them in the trunk. I picked them up and they are empty. My seat a greasy mess of speed stick and an overpowering smell. Well the car went instantly to the detail shop where I ripped out the seat and told them to pressure wash it. I will pick it up tomarrow. The moral of the story, don't leave speed stick in your car in 90 degree weather.

 

LOL, that's not stupid, that's just being forgetful.
You wanna hear stupid? Just last month I thought my truck was 11 and a half feet long, haha
Now that's stupid!

Habibi

 

We have a winner!

Don't forget when you "tried" to "moderate" me. Tisk tisk.

 

Then there was this dumb guy I like to call "dumberer" He has been there 8 months.
The company has electronicly controled steel gates that one must use a key card to open, then drive through. Different from the railroad like bar ones, which slam down after one truck goes by, these will let many trucks through at one time because they take so long to close.
I saw this guy follow another Truck up to the gate, stop, wait until the gate opened and the first Truck went trough, then sit there waiting for the gate close, so he could present his card at the reader to open the gate again. I yelled at him that he he didn't have to wait for it to close and to hurry and pull up so it could dectect another truck and stay open. He pulled up and said "wow I didn't know that" as it began to reverse.
I wondered how many times he had gotten there behind other trucks and has waited for the gate to close. Then I wondered if he did the same thing at the office doors. * person in front of him opens it, holds door for him, he says thanks, then closes it, then uses key card to open it again. *

Same guy needs a sub because his chevy truck quits. He is hours late, and wanted me to sub, but I told him there is someone here that is more familiar of his area than I am, that will do it for him, and I procede to give the sub his phone number, and give him the subs phone number. To save time, (from having to go to his house and get his equipment) I tell him I am letting her use my equipment. She is there loading his stuff into her truck and he calls me to tell me nobody is answering her phone. (DUH #1) I tell him (again) that she is at the dock loading, and therefore is not at home. Then he asks me if she needs his keys to the lock boxes. I said "Are there lock boxes?" He says "Yes" (DUH # 2) I think "oh sure, the genral public has keys to your lock boxes" but instead I tell him "the deliveries will just have to be made without the lock boxes tonight." Heck it is getting so late most of the stores that have them will be open when she gets there anyway. (DUH # 3)

Not to be outdone by Dumberer, the sub tells me she was told she could have this job if it became available. I told her it is available because dumberer is moving back south again. Given that information, wouldn't you think she would bust her *** to make a good impression? I mean she comes in, does this guys job, and saves the day, winning the gratitude of the people in power (to hire and fire) right? So what does she do?
She does it for about two hours, then gives up and goes home leaving more than half of it undone (DUH # 1) Then she calls him 5 hours after she gave up to tell him. (DUH # 2) So now the remaining locations are 8 hours late and beyond hope. He she told him right away, he could have called someone else to finish. Oh, and nobody seems to know (or is afraid to ask) where the remaining (undelivered) product is. Later that evening, she calls him wanting ot get paid. (DUH # 3)

 

So Ford4Fun, does that mean your car smells good and you stink?
Hey now you can go right from the shower to your car and you'll be all set.

Habibi wishes his was 11 1/2 feet! LOL

 

A genius amomg us:

I went to pay a speeding ticket today (a story in itself). The way the county offices look for your ticket in the computers is by the number on the ticket. Well, I stood at the window and told the woman behind the desk my citation number. She had some problems locating it in the system. She did another search and asked me what the number was again. I had no problem repeating the number, but she then asks if I'm sure. I didn't say a word, but all I thought was, "no, this is just some random number I pulled out of the air." Then finally the information came up, she asked if I was the one belonging to the name on the ticket. I gave her a simple "yes." Then back to the devious thoughts:"no, it's not me, I just enjoy coming down here to pay random traffic violations for other people."

 

"dumberer" LOL

Every now and then I'll have what I call a "stupid day"
It's where every where I go, every single person I come in contact with is a complete fking retard.
Then I'll come home, take a deep breath, and take an hour just to calm down.

About 10 years ago while at work (max pen)
I was in charge of the main control room / armory / basement emergency entrance to the entire joint.

This post is bullet proof and armed to the nuts.
There's a rack of AR-15's, loads of ammo, shotguns and revolvers, and keys to everywhere.

So, I've got a new girl working the controls at the front of the room )opening and closing barriers and whatnot according to protocol. (when I say new, I mean 2 years service)
I'm in the back watching all the monitors, manning the radios, and monitoring the perimeter alarms.

Now, to get into this room, the person inside gives a foldger adams key to the person through the port-hole, the person then lets himself in through the first gate, and once the door is securely locked, then the officer inside opens the inner barrier, pretty basic.....

Now to get to the visiting room, the convicts must walk by this room, and proceed down a hallway.

So I'm in the back doing my job, stupid is in the front doing her job, and all seems to be in order.

Well my coffee cup is empty, so I walk to the front (where stupid is) to get some more.
Low and behold, there's a convict standing inside the room right beside her, white t-shirt, name tag sewn on, and green pants, he is standing right beside a gun rack with 3 loaded AR-15's.

I'm wearing a sidearm, and notice they both have a confused look on their face.
So I ask (I'm trying to be cool and not look like I'm *****ting myself)
What's the problem I say"
The con says "I walked up to the porthole and asked where the visiting room was located, she handed me a key, so I let myself in"
So very quickly and quietly, I'm showing this guy the door, and boot his *** out, and point him in the right direction.
Once he's gone, I ask stupid "WTF are you doing?"
She said "oh, I thought he was the electrician, so I let him in to fix the lights"

Hello??? Is anyone home in the peanut size brain of yours??? "this is what I'm thinking" but of course I can't say anything nasty or I'll get charged with harassment. (new workplace laws to protect the stupid)

Now nothing bad happened, but the "potential" was astronomical, the entire joint could've been lost, and many dead people because of stupids peanut sized brain.

So what happened to stupid? She was given a "verbal consultation", and 6 months later she was given an acting position to be a supervisor.

Anyone familiar with the "Peter Principal" will know what I'm talking about.

Habibi

 

Here comes Al with the topper story. That was pretty stupid of her. I don't think I could have controlled myself from yelling at her.

 

Ok, I have to stitch up my lovely wife on this one. Fortunately, she doesn't come to this site and I know that none of you will tell her what I'm doing. Here's the story........

When I exported my truck over to England last February, it had to be delivered from the docks to my house beacause it wasn't registered for use yet in the UK.
The truck arrived on a regular (for the UK) size car transporter and it was a bit of a tight squeeze to get it off.
The delivery driver wanted no part of this in case he damaged it and I prefered to drive it off myself anyway.
So, seeing as the truck had not been run for a while, I started it up and let it run for a few minutes. While waiting for this, I had a little play (new toy) with all the controls and turned the radio on, retuning it to a local oldies station.
Anyway, to cut this story short, I backed the truck off the transporter and put it in my driveway.
After a few minutes, my wife came out for a look to see where I was (still playing with the new toy) and jumped into the passenger seat for a look.
She commeneted on how nice the interior was etc and said, "That radio is amazing"
I said something like "It's nothing special, just a factory model" and she said "No, it's picking up a radio station all the way from America".
I think it was Elvis or something being played but I started to laugh so much, I can't remember any more.
When I explained it to her, she naturally got all pi$$y about it and claimed that she meant something else. I have no idea what!

 

Nice story Adam, sounds like you married my wifes twin, lol
Don't get me wrong, I love her to death, and I know you of all people can understand this, but sometimes they can be so clueless, it's unreal.

She's really smart at her job (nurse) and all sorts of stuff, but when it comes to some stuff, it's hard to keep from screaming "Hello, is anyone home? Hello?"

I remember a few years ago she came inside frustrated that her car wouldnt start, when I asked her whats wrong, she said "the battery is dead"

I'm like, "ok, I dig the charger out of the garage, haul it outside with an extension cord, and i'm all set to charge it up.

Before I even pop the hood, I decide to try it "just to be sure"
Well, the starter is turning over furiosly, but it won't start, she was out of gas!

You are not alone!

Example #2:
My wife's parents are total hicks, and I mean 100% hick, they live in a small town, havnt been out of a 100 mile radious in 30 years (if ever), and are quite happy just living their simple hick life.
(it's important that you understand this before I continue.

A year ago her parents were staying with us for a week-end, and that same week-end, they openned a brand new McDonalds half a mile from our house. Big deal, I know.

So I wake up at noon, and her and her mom come home with a bag of Mcdonalds for me.
If they said they just went for lunch, no big deal, I wouldnt be typing, but this is what they say:

We just came from the new McDonalds, was it ever good too, we wanted to try them out"
So of course I call them a pair of hicks and I start laughing.
They are looking at me dead serio9us, and don't know what's so funny.
I explain to them, `) you twits got all excited over a new McDonalds? 2) Did you think it would be any different than the other 100 million locations?
What's to try out??

I guess you had to be there, but they still didnt understand how hick that sounded.

Habibi

 

My boss!
Couple years back, he had a E-150 conversion van which spent most of the time in the garage. So, one morning in winter, he goes out to start it. Won't start. I show for work, he tells me it will crank, but won't turn over. I jump in, one kick on the gas, turn the key, and it starts! He says, "What did you do?" I said, "Just gave it some gas." He says, "You're not supposed to do that with fuel injection!"
Had to explain about it sitting there, not being used, and so on.
Or, as Homer Simpson would say, "D'Oh!"

 

Went to a friends house a couple of years ago. Pulled in the driveway and he was out on his side lawn running in circles pushing his wheelbarrow. I got out and asked him what he was doing. He said he had a flat tire on the wheelbarrow and he put a can of flatfix in it. The can said to rotate the wheel to spread the flatfix evenly. I said, "Why don't you turn the wheelbarrow over and spin the tire by hand." He said, "D'oh?"