Short stupid ones...
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Joined: Oct 2002
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From: Central Joisey
Short stupid ones...
Some old, some new, but all beauts!
A jumper cable walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
says: "A beer please and one for the road."
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!"
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my
electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's
cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "
Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks
the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally,
he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
couldn't find any.
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that
he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.
It's... um...well... I have five penises" replies the man.
"Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?"
"Like a glove."
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A f sh.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and
says "dam"
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other "I'll man the guns,
you drive"
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
A jumper cable walks into a bar.
The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
A sandwich walks into a bar.
The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
says: "A beer please and one for the road."
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!"
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my
electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's
cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "
Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks
the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally,
he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
couldn't find any.
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that
he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.
It's... um...well... I have five penises" replies the man.
"Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?"
"Like a glove."
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A f sh.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and
says "dam"
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other "I'll man the guns,
you drive"
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
