A stock broker, on his way home from work in New York City, comes to a dead halt in traffic and says to himself, "Wow, this seems worse than usual..."

He notices a police officer walking between the lines of stopped cars, so he rolls down his window and asks, "Officer, what's the hold up?"

The officer replies, "Hillary Clinton is depressed, so she stopped her motorcade and is threatening to douse herself in gasoline and set herself on fire."

"She says her husband is running around on her more than ever and the Democrats told her to forget about running for president in 2004. So we're taking up a collection for her."

The stock broker asks, "How much have you got so far?"

The officer replies: "About 4 1/2 gallons, but a lot of folks are still siphoning."