Bear
Thread Starter
|
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 1,584
Likes: 0
From: Miami, Fl.
Bear
A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the
bar with his paw and demands a beer.
The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in
Billings."
The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.
The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to
belligerent bears in bars in Billings."
The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to
eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears
in bars in Billings."
The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He
comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.
The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully
bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."
The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."
.........You're gonna love this..........
The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."
bar with his paw and demands a beer.
The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in
Billings."
The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.
The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to
belligerent bears in bars in Billings."
The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to
eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears
in bars in Billings."
The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He
comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.
The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully
bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."
The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."
.........You're gonna love this..........
The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."
Senior Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 1,109
Likes: 1
From: Nu Joizey
LOL, that was so corny that I feel obligated to follow up with another corny bear joke!
There's these two wildlife scientist in Russia studying bears, one is Russian and the other is Czekoslovakian. After years & years of researching the bears of Russia they decide that they should broaden the scope of their studies and study the bears of other nations as well.
With much enthusiasm they conclude that the American Grizzzly would be the next great subject to study and hastily make arrangements to travel to Yellowstone Park where an enormous population of Grizzlies thrived. Shortly after arriving in the park the two scientists were assigned a pair of Park Rangers who were to act as liasons to the scientists and were responsible for their well being and might possibly be asked to assist them during their studdies at any given time.
Needless to say the scientists had chosen the perfect enviroment to study bears and accumulated a great wealth of data in short order.
One day the two Rangers stop in during the early morning to check on the scientists and bring in supplies as they did every morning since their arrival. The Rangers were immediately suspicious because the scientists did not come out of their cabin to greet them as they usually did.
After a brief look around the cabin they found blood, shredded bits of clothing, and huge clawmarks .............. all the unmistakeable signs of a bear attack!
by inspecting the tracks they quickly concluded that two bears were responsible for the attack and set out after them. A day and a half later they followed the tracks to the den of a notorously violent breeding pair of grizzlies. The remains of the two scientists clothing were strewn about and the rangers were forced to euthanize the bears.
Two shots from the rangers rifle destroyed the animals quickly & mercifully. The Rangers then cut open the belly of the female to recover any remains of the two ill fated scientists. They were astounded to find the mangled, partially digested corpse of the Russian scientist.
With much aprehension and disgust the Rangers looked at each other as they concluded the unthinkable. The first Ranger looks to his partner and asks rethorically, "You know what this means dont you?". Yes, the other Ranger solemly replies ................... The Czeck is in the male!!!
There's these two wildlife scientist in Russia studying bears, one is Russian and the other is Czekoslovakian. After years & years of researching the bears of Russia they decide that they should broaden the scope of their studies and study the bears of other nations as well.
With much enthusiasm they conclude that the American Grizzzly would be the next great subject to study and hastily make arrangements to travel to Yellowstone Park where an enormous population of Grizzlies thrived. Shortly after arriving in the park the two scientists were assigned a pair of Park Rangers who were to act as liasons to the scientists and were responsible for their well being and might possibly be asked to assist them during their studdies at any given time.
Needless to say the scientists had chosen the perfect enviroment to study bears and accumulated a great wealth of data in short order.
One day the two Rangers stop in during the early morning to check on the scientists and bring in supplies as they did every morning since their arrival. The Rangers were immediately suspicious because the scientists did not come out of their cabin to greet them as they usually did.
After a brief look around the cabin they found blood, shredded bits of clothing, and huge clawmarks .............. all the unmistakeable signs of a bear attack!
by inspecting the tracks they quickly concluded that two bears were responsible for the attack and set out after them. A day and a half later they followed the tracks to the den of a notorously violent breeding pair of grizzlies. The remains of the two scientists clothing were strewn about and the rangers were forced to euthanize the bears.
Two shots from the rangers rifle destroyed the animals quickly & mercifully. The Rangers then cut open the belly of the female to recover any remains of the two ill fated scientists. They were astounded to find the mangled, partially digested corpse of the Russian scientist.
With much aprehension and disgust the Rangers looked at each other as they concluded the unthinkable. The first Ranger looks to his partner and asks rethorically, "You know what this means dont you?". Yes, the other Ranger solemly replies ................... The Czeck is in the male!!!
