What's blue and f**ks old people?
Hypothermia

What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?
The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.

What is the definition of "making love?"
Something a woman does while a guy is f**king her.

What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
They don't f**king listen.

What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
Gonorrhoea

Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating **** once in a while, too.
How can you tell a macho woman?
She rolls her own tampons.

Why do **** like ribbed condoms?
Better traction in the mud.

What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it.

What do you get when you cross two black people?
Your *** kicked.

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Why do men pay more for car insurance?
Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.

What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour.

Why do women call it PMS?
Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

What's a mixed feeling?
When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

What's the height of conceit?
Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

What's the definition of macho?
Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
The cake jumps out of the girl.

What's the difference between oral sex & **** sex?
Oral sex makes your day, **** sex makes your hole weak.

How is pubic hair like parsley?
You push it to the side before you start eating.

What's so good about an Ethiopian *******?
You know she'll swallow.

Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the
same day in Iraq?
They don't want to wear out the camel.

What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.

What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it
is bedtime?
When the big hand touches the little hand.

How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the
house?
Look inside your pants; if you have a *****, it's not time.

Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
They spray paint X's on the backs of the animals that kick.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it

 

LOL!!

 

pffffffffffffft!

 

comedy...good jokes gator

 

Oh man that's awesome!!

 

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

that too funny, where do you get these??

 

Ford4Fun:

Since Gator has been in the Witness Protection Program, the
Feds give him these jokes daily to keep him happy...his girlfriend was also provided by the Feds...His Lightning was given to him by the NSA because they simply liked drinking beer with him...

 

i can already see myself getting into a lot of trouble with this one

 

No wonder Iam so happy

 

Nah. That's because you sit at home, have hot chicks, drink beer, and post on the boards all day.

Just thought I'd remind you. Seems you lost your focus.

RP

 

Gator your a good source of a laugh. Thanks again.

 

I'd say his focus is doing just FINE

 

Thanks for the support and understanding 01 XLT

 

Absolutely, anytime sir, day or night 7 days a week...