BEER TROUBLESHOOTING CHART

SYMPTOM
- FAULT
- ACTION

Feet cold and wet.
- Glass being held at incorrect angle.
- Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

Feet warm and wet.
- Improper bladder control.
- Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
- Glass empty.
- Get someone to buy you another beer.

Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
- You have fallen over backward.
- Have yourself leashed to bar.

Mouth contains cigarette butts.
- You have fallen forward.
- See above.

Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
- Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
- Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

Floor blurred.
- You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
- Get someone to buy you another beer.

Floor moving.
- You are being carried out.
- Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

Room seems unusually dark.
- Bar has closed.
- Confirm home address with bartender.

Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
- Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
- Cover mouth.

Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
- You are dancing on the table.
- Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

Beer is crystal-clear.
- It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
- Punch him.

Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
- You have been in a fight.
- Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
- You've wandered into the wrong party.
- See if they have free beer.

Your singing sounds distorted.
- The beer is too weak.
- Have more beer until your voice improves.

Don't remember the words to the song.
- Beer is just right.
- Play air guitar.

 

LMAO, thats a good one...

 

HAHAHAHA!

You Z guys stick together too much. LOL!

Oh yeah, did I mention that I have Z sitting on my desk at home? Seriously... I really do.

RP

 

Is that the shipment from APT?

 

hahahahaha