HaHa
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Senior Member
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 12,632
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From: Stinkin Joisey
HaHa
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll
take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
______________________________________
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. "How
was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
_________________________________________________
New Sex Study... It has been determined, the most used sexual position for
married couples is a doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. The
wife rolls over and plays dead.
__________ _________________________________
This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing
the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the best of
him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?"
Th
e young woman looks him over and says, "Well, you could start by buying
me a drink."
___________________________________________
Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
_________________________________________________
A woman's perfect breakfast: She's sitting at the table with her gourmet
coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the
cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Play girl. And her
husband is on the back of the milk carton.
________________________________________________
A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.
"I'm O.K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery."
"What did he say," asked the nurse.
"OOPS!"
______________________________________________
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of
bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and t
wenty pounds since I had
even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"
"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."
__________________________________________________ ____
If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one would be the prostitute?
The one that's labeled "IDAHO"
__________________________________________________ ____
Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old grand-daughter and beeped the horn
by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, "I
did that by accident."
She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."
He replied, "How did you know?"
She replied, "Because you didn't say '*******!' afterwards."
____ __________________________________________________
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so
stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded,
"Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you
would be attracted to
me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
__________________________________________________ ____
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
__________________________________________________ ____
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the wife asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the husband replied, "in-laws.
__________________________________________________ ____
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art."
"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."
take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
______________________________________
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. "How
was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
_________________________________________________
New Sex Study... It has been determined, the most used sexual position for
married couples is a doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. The
wife rolls over and plays dead.
__________ _________________________________
This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing
the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the best of
him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?"
Th
e young woman looks him over and says, "Well, you could start by buying
me a drink."
___________________________________________
Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
_________________________________________________
A woman's perfect breakfast: She's sitting at the table with her gourmet
coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the
cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Play girl. And her
husband is on the back of the milk carton.
________________________________________________
A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.
"I'm O.K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery."
"What did he say," asked the nurse.
"OOPS!"
______________________________________________
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of
bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and t
wenty pounds since I had
even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"
"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."
__________________________________________________ ____
If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one would be the prostitute?
The one that's labeled "IDAHO"
__________________________________________________ ____
Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old grand-daughter and beeped the horn
by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, "I
did that by accident."
She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."
He replied, "How did you know?"
She replied, "Because you didn't say '*******!' afterwards."
____ __________________________________________________
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so
stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded,
"Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you
would be attracted to
me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
__________________________________________________ ____
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
__________________________________________________ ____
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the wife asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the husband replied, "in-laws.
__________________________________________________ ____
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art."
"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 31,440
Likes: 4
From: The Bluegrass State
Originally posted by Fast Gator
Did ya hear the one about the geologist with the Geo-Probe drilling into the Ordovican rock??????
He was pissed he missed the Early Precambrian rock..hehe
Did ya hear the one about the geologist with the Geo-Probe drilling into the Ordovican rock??????
He was pissed he missed the Early Precambrian rock..hehe
But, on the flip side, I am somewhat impressed that you knew Ordivician (even though you spelled it wrong) and Pre Cambrian.... Did I teach you these skills or did you seek and find them on your own old grasshoppa?
RP
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 343
Likes: 0
From: Texas
Re: HaHa
Originally posted by Fast Gator
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the wife asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the husband replied, "in-laws.
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
goats, and pigs, the wife asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the husband replied, "in-laws.
HAHAHAHA THAT RULES!
Thread Starter
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Senior Member
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 12,632
Likes: 1
From: Stinkin Joisey
Originally posted by RockPick
I assume that once you hit 10,000 you'll stop with the VERY VERY CHEESY geological jokes? LMAO... that was pitaful man!
But, on the flip side, I am somewhat impressed that you knew Ordivician (even though you spelled it wrong) and Pre Cambrian.... Did I teach you these skills or did you seek and find them on your own old grasshoppa?
RP
I assume that once you hit 10,000 you'll stop with the VERY VERY CHEESY geological jokes? LMAO... that was pitaful man!
But, on the flip side, I am somewhat impressed that you knew Ordivician (even though you spelled it wrong) and Pre Cambrian.... Did I teach you these skills or did you seek and find them on your own old grasshoppa?
RP
It will take a job to get me to stop
#2- You'll be surprised what you can learn in bars
