Little Gator
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From: Stinkin Joisey
Little Gator
Little Gator
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Gator. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then little Gator says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little Gator replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding
ring on', but I like your thinking."
LITTLE GATOR ON MATH
Little Gator returns from school and says he got an F in! arithmetic. "Why?" I ask? "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'", replies Little Gator. "But that's right!" I reply. "Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the ******ing difference?" I ask. "That's what I said!"
LITTLE GATOR ON ENGLISH
Little Gator goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi -syllable word?" Little Gator says "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Gator, that's a mouthful."
Little Gator says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blo*job."
LITTLE GATOR ON GRAMMAR
Little Gator was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a ****!!" The teacher replied, "Now, Little Gator, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is urinate. Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly , and I
will allow you to go." Little Gator, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger ****, you'd be a TEN!"
LITTLE GATOR ON GRAMMAR
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully." She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on little Gator. "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just ******ing beautiful!'"
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Gator. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then little Gator says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little Gator replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding
ring on', but I like your thinking."
LITTLE GATOR ON MATH
Little Gator returns from school and says he got an F in! arithmetic. "Why?" I ask? "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'", replies Little Gator. "But that's right!" I reply. "Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the ******ing difference?" I ask. "That's what I said!"
LITTLE GATOR ON ENGLISH
Little Gator goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi -syllable word?" Little Gator says "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Gator, that's a mouthful."
Little Gator says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blo*job."
LITTLE GATOR ON GRAMMAR
Little Gator was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a ****!!" The teacher replied, "Now, Little Gator, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is urinate. Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly , and I
will allow you to go." Little Gator, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger ****, you'd be a TEN!"
LITTLE GATOR ON GRAMMAR
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully." She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on little Gator. "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just ******ing beautiful!'"
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From: Great Lake State
