> It's time once again to review the winners of the annual "Stella
> Awards".
>
> The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled
> coffee
> on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the
> Stella
> Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.
> Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonalds, by the
> teens
> who allege that eating at McDonalds has made them fat, was filed after
> the
> 2002 award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2003 list without
> question.
>
> Here are this year's winners:
>
> 5th Place (tie):
> Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of
> her
> peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
> inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably
> surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was
> Ms.
> Robertson's son.
>
> 5th Place (tie):
> A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
> expenseswhen his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr.
> Truman
> apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when
> he
> was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
>
> 5th Place(tie):
> Terrence ****son of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had
> just
> finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage
> door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He
> couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and
> garage
> locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr.
> ****son
> found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a
> case of
> Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's
> insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The
> jury
> agreed to the tune of $500,000.
>
> 4th Place:
> Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical
> expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's
> beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award
> was
> less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a
> little
> provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into
> the
> yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
>
> 3rd Place:
> A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster
> Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
> coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had
> thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
>
> 2nd Place:
> Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a
> night
> club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the
> floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.
> Walton
> was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid
> paying
> the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
>
> 1st Place:
> This year's run away winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
> Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor
> home.
> On his first trip home, (from an Oklahoma University football game),
> having
> driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly
> left
> the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee.
> Not
> surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr.
> Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that
> he
> couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new
> motor
> home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this
> suit,
> just in case there were any other complete morons buying their
> recreation
> vehicles.
>
>

 

gotta love lawyers

 

It seems like 99 percent of lawyers give all the others a bad name!!!

 

Oh no! I would LMAO at this if I hadn't already lost it laughing at the original post!

 

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting,
"Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??

A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!

In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (Hellllllooooooo!)

8. THE GRAND FINALE

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver,no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was
laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER... THIS IS TRUE ...
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer

 

3 out of 5 are from my area!!

go figure

moose

 

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! LMAO!!! LOOMA!!!! OMG!!!! LOL!!!!!