I've found that as I get older the more I actually start to contemplate death. It really hit me hard when I turned 30 and went to get my first couple tests at a doctor's office. I remember being sure they were all going to come back saying I had cancer or a fatal heart defect. Funny thing is before the age of 28 or so I never thought of dying.

This all came up because I was talking to a lady at work who's husband (or ex) is having a mid-life crisis (around 40 years old) when his brother died at 34 from cancer. She was telling me about some scene in Moonstruck (the movie) where someone asks this guy why men cheat, and the guys says "because we fear death..." I told her I could relate to that statement, and she said everyone (men and women) have to fear death. But I was telling her (although I'm not sure) but I believe very strongly it's different for men and women. I think men have a different mental makeup in youth (either through nature, nuture, or both). I believe that's why armies always have used men 18 to 21 or so, because they are crazy as all get-out, and literally believe they are invulnerable......

I personally remember a time when I couldn't damage myself from abuse, no matter how much I ate, drank, smoke, didn't sleep, had a physical injury, etc. By the next day I was better. I believe that kind of make up affects you mentally, and when it starts to disappear you are in for a big shock.....

Any thoughts?

 

I used to worry about death alot. But after you worry so much, you get tired of worrying about it. I've come to realize that death is just part of life. And there is nothing you can do about it. So why worry about what you can do nothing about. All I can say is take care of yourself the best you can, count your blessings, live life to it's fullest, be at peace with yourself, and hope to live to be 100. We all have it coming. That's just a part of life life. If you are worried about death or just worried in general, you may be depressed. I'm not saying that you are depressed, but it would'nt hurt to talk to a doctor about it. Hope I helped you out.

 

Dying is part of life. Enjoy it while you can.

 

yup, once you hit 30 or 35 your perspective changes. You are right about why they use 20-year-olds in war... i remember being indestructable too. ahhh, motorcycles, whiskey, bar fights, the good old days!

now that I am older, and I have had more personal experience with DEATH and dying, fatal diseases in family, serious illness myself, I really try to just enjoy life and not worry about things especially MONEY! as long as you are feeding your kids, spend what you want and don't kill yourself at work. I can't understand people who squeeze every dime for retirement, that they may never see, or be too sick to enjoy.

Anyway a lot of people I have known have died, and now they are at peace and have nothing to worry about, and maybe they are in a better place if it exists. so it is not really being dead that bothers me, it is the process. i hate being sick, i hope when my time comes it is quick.

you may want to get checked for depression if you are worrying about this a lot. my doc says we are basically animals and should be mostly concerned with 2 things: our next meal and our next roll in the hay! so if you are obsessed you might need PROZAC or something!

don't worry about stuff, just be good and take care of yourself and enjoy life!

 

I used to worry about dying, until I was "voluntarily" deployed to Kuwait in '98 for the bombing campaign that lasted 4 days. On the trip over I finally came to the realization that we all die, it's kind of part of living. After that I just accepted it and went on with life.

 

Yeah I have contemplated death ....

Is it really death or just a launch platform to another reality ????

At 48 years young I think WTF you only die once (here) . Don't rush it just enjoy it while your here . I have wonderful grandchildren and will enjoy every moment with them. Like I should have (but didn't ) with my own children. I feel that I am the master of my own destiny. Once you resolve yourself to life then you can enjoy it. No sweat , the bad news is you will probably live a long time. Just keep it honest and simple.

Forever Never Happens

Later

 

I don't fear death...except for the fact that i want my 16 year old dauther and 10 year old son to have a father around.
Other then that i enjoy life without any fear at all of death.... it arrives when it arrives.

 

I am only 18...but I'll be dead in 100 years if not less. Maybe 3 if this conflict becomes anything serious. But the sooner I die....the sooner I get to see my dad

 

Every moment we have with loved ones is a gift. Every breath we breathe should be utilized to the fullest extent of our ability. In the end, all I think that matters are the connections we have made with people and the impact we have made on their lives. If we are true to who we are, we will be ready when our time comes.

that's what i think about when I think of death.

 

Funny this is a new thread. I turn 30 on the 13th. I have been thinking this way for a while. I used to be pain free and invulnerable too. Now everything pains me, I even have to get at least 7 hours of sleep. I have also noticed over the past couple of years, I seem to get a lot more respect from others. I have also had a kid or too address me as "Hey Mister". I was never called Mister, ever ,ever before.

I am getting over it though, I understand it is a natural mindset as documented by Freud (sp???). I was getting really nervous riding my motorcycle over the past few months, I just told myself "better to go this way than to drop dead working under a sink".

It is just a phase. I am gonna have some fun while I am here. I will just do things smart enough to have as much fun as possible, as long as I can make it last.

For those of you that contemplate a new truck, JUST DO IT!

 

Thanks for all the responses. No, I'm not depressed or continually thinking about it. I was more interested in trying to prove my theory to my co-worker (female) that it's a very difficult adjustment for men to make through life (coming to terms with mortality).

Would you guys agree that this "transition" really occurs mostly with men? It just seems like (going by memory), women when I was young were 1) very familiar with going to doctors, 2) already in a caretaking role of some kind that had them dealing with certain aspects of life and death, and 3) were just not as "risk-taking" as I was. I'm just convinced there's a hormone (not just testosterone) that or a wired way of thinking that starts to change for men that doesn't have a counterpart in women.

It's just weird that my co-worker was shocked that I could easliy relate to her ex-husband running off after his brother's untimely death, and that she couldn't see any reason behind it....

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by seacrow
Funny this is a new thread. I turn 30 on the 13th. I have been thinking this way for a while. I used to be pain free and invulnerable too. Now everything pains me, I even have to get at least 7 hours of sleep. I have also noticed over the past couple of years, I seem to get a lot more respect from others. I have also had a kid or too address me as "Hey Mister". I was never called Mister, ever ,ever before.

I am getting over it though, I understand it is a natural mindset as documented by Freud (sp???). I was getting really nervous riding my motorcycle over the past few months, I just told myself "better to go this way than to drop dead working under a sink".

It is just a phase. I am gonna have some fun while I am here. I will just do things smart enough to have as much fun as possible, as long as I can make it last.

For those of you that contemplate a new truck, JUST DO IT!


Hey Mister,just wait,Sir is just aroung the corner

 

I think that your ideas are valid. Women are much more in touch with their bodies (for obvious reasons), and by the time men get to their 30s chemical/biological changes seem to occur that are so dramatic they can be scary.

I think most men live the first 30 or so years of their life pain-free and worry-free. Then suddenly a game of 1 on 1 leaves you a lot more tired, a muscle pull doesn't heal very fast, aches and pains follow you from the moment you get out of bed. Going to the doctor is really scary because after 30 years or more of no pains and clean slates the new aches and pains give way to genuine concern (meaning FEAR) of getting a bad result. It doesn't help that by 30-35 you also are generally responsible for a wife,kids,house payments etc. No one wants to even consider what would happen to those that depend on you if something happened.

Death is part of life, and you can't change the ultimate end result; but you don't have to like it.

Hope for the best

Prepare for the worst

In the meantime

 

It seems that turning 30 is traumatic to the average male. As best as I can remember it was to me too

Actually I've begun to think that death is something that happens to us all, some sooner than we would like, others later than we would like. But it happens nontheless.

As far as being called mister. First comes mister, then as was said, Sir. But the best comes after Sir, its......dirty old man
I wonder what Iam going to be called next?

 

as someone whoi almost died three times before iwas 15, death doesnt bother me, what does bother me is leaving the people that i love behind.

moose