Revenge on telemarketers - a conversation with AT&T
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Senior Member
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 336
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From: Buffalo, NY US
Revenge on telemarketers - a conversation with AT&T
This was hysterical! I can't wait for them to call - I'm definitely going to do this! 
AT&T
I was at home the other night in the middle
of my dinner when the phone rang.
ME: Hello.
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T ...
ME: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....
ME: This is AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....
ME: Is this AT&T.
AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to
Mr. Byron, please.
ME: May I ask who is calling.
AT&T: This is AT&T.
ME: Ok, hold on.
At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad.
Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.
ME: Hello.
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron.
ME: May I ask who is calling, please.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: This is AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: The phone company.
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.
ME: I already have a phone.
AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week,
365 days a year.
ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?
AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!
ME: 7 days a week.?
AT&T: That's right.
ME: 365 days a year.?
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!!
That's amazing!
AT&T: We think so!
ME: That's quite a sum of money!
AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.
ME: Ok, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance.
AT&T: Excuse me.
ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
AT&T: What are you talking about.
ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute,
24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year.
I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.
AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.
ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme?
I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.
AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for ...
ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?
AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.
ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor.
AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.
At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.
SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron.
ME: Yeth?
SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.
ME: Is This A T & T..?
SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.
ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.
SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.
ME: Thank you.
I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.
AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan.
ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family" thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...
AT&T: click........
AT&T
I was at home the other night in the middle
of my dinner when the phone rang.
ME: Hello.
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T ...
ME: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....
ME: This is AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....
ME: Is this AT&T.
AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to
Mr. Byron, please.
ME: May I ask who is calling.
AT&T: This is AT&T.
ME: Ok, hold on.
At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad.
Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.
ME: Hello.
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron.
ME: May I ask who is calling, please.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: This is AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: The phone company.
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.
ME: I already have a phone.
AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week,
365 days a year.
ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?
AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!
ME: 7 days a week.?
AT&T: That's right.
ME: 365 days a year.?
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!!
That's amazing!
AT&T: We think so!
ME: That's quite a sum of money!
AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.
ME: Ok, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance.
AT&T: Excuse me.
ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
AT&T: What are you talking about.
ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute,
24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year.
I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.
AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.
ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme?
I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.
AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for ...
ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?
AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.
ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor.
AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.
At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.
SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron.
ME: Yeth?
SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.
ME: Is This A T & T..?
SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.
ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.
SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.
ME: Thank you.
I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.
AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan.
ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family" thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...
AT&T: click........
Senior Member
Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 4,565
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From: NJ
I just like saying hold, put the phone down and then go about my business.
But my girlfriend so far holds the best between me and my friends. She has one of those "Horn in a can" that she user frequently
But my girlfriend so far holds the best between me and my friends. She has one of those "Horn in a can" that she user frequently
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 262
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Before you use the horn in a can, try speaking very softly so the operator has to turn up his reciever volume to hear you and get the full effect.
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Registered User
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 1,170
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From: Ft Lauderdale, FL, USA!
What is the "horn in the can" ?
I hate telemarkerters...they always try to take your money - If you donate to your local police/fire department, plan on getting numerous calls to donate more.
I hate telemarkerters...they always try to take your money - If you donate to your local police/fire department, plan on getting numerous calls to donate more.
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 528
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From: Indy
If you donate to your local police/fire department, plan on getting numerous calls to donate more.
(seeing as I don't donate to them in the first place, other than all of the tax money the collect off of me!)
My brother in law kept an FOP guy on the line for half an hour trying to get the guy to tell him why the money we pay in taxes wasn't good enough. FOP guy finally gave up.
Senior Member
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 598
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From: Las Vegas, NV
I hate the people that call "representing" the local police & fire department. I always mess with them and ask them if they are going to send me money because I'm military...they normally end the conversation.
Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 59
Likes: 0
From: Tampa,Florida
ROTF!!
That's a great one! I plan on using this one myself.
Noticed how they have started to ask for the first name now? I used to always know it was a telemarketer before because they would butcher my last name!
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 622
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From: Benton, AR, USA
LOL! Good one CL!
One time a telemarketer caught me on the cordless when I was out back on the range. When I figured out it was a telemarketer I yelled "Now @$%@ I told you to quit moving" and fired off a couple of shots. I think I actually heard them soil themselves - and I died laughing when they said they had to go!
One time a telemarketer caught me on the cordless when I was out back on the range. When I figured out it was a telemarketer I yelled "Now @$%@ I told you to quit moving" and fired off a couple of shots. I think I actually heard them soil themselves - and I died laughing when they said they had to go!