If anyone has any clue where to start here it would be much much appreciated.....When I shut off my 1990 V8 F150, my brake lights remain on. If I put the right turn signal on, when the truck is still off, the front headlights blink and the brake lights go off. When I turn the left turn signal on, the left brake light goes off and the right remains on. No blown fuses and bulbs seem to be working. The only way to turn the brake lights off is to disconnect the battery.

 

You have serious wiring problems - probably in the turn/hazard switch in the column. Sounds like some butchery due to an old alarm/remote start system. Get a pro to straighten it all out for you.