My new chip
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Member
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 83
Likes: 0
From: Friendswood, TX, US
My new chip
For anyone interested I will be selling my own chip.
These are my instructions for my new chip:
1) First Buy my custom chip "Supercluck2000 " contained in it own custom nicely colored box.
2) Take the chip into a room that has at least 20 square feet of free floor space.
3) Draw a 10 foot tall 6 pointed star on the floor. Make sure one of the points of the star points to TRUE north, NOT magnetic north. Important: Do NOT use a 5 pointed star!!!! Doing so will call up a demon, or possibly Lucifer himself!!! And lose horsepower.
4) Place your chip in the exact center of the star with the ISO plug facing up and the centerline of the long axis of the chip aligned to the northward pointing star point.
5) Get a dead chicken (a freshly killed chicken works best, but a frozen one may work)
6) Walk in counter-clockwise circles around the star, saying the words: "Ooh wa, ta aas, eye am" over and over. Wave the chicken over the chip while saying the chant. Perform his procedure for at least 5 minutes!!!
7) After 5 minutes take the chicken to the kitchen and broil it in the oven. You MUST feast on the flesh of the dead bird for the chip to work!!
8) Take your chip and install it.
That's it. You now have 50 extra horsepower and 100 foot pounds of torque!!!
These are my instructions for my new chip:
1) First Buy my custom chip "Supercluck2000 " contained in it own custom nicely colored box.
2) Take the chip into a room that has at least 20 square feet of free floor space.
3) Draw a 10 foot tall 6 pointed star on the floor. Make sure one of the points of the star points to TRUE north, NOT magnetic north. Important: Do NOT use a 5 pointed star!!!! Doing so will call up a demon, or possibly Lucifer himself!!! And lose horsepower.
4) Place your chip in the exact center of the star with the ISO plug facing up and the centerline of the long axis of the chip aligned to the northward pointing star point.
5) Get a dead chicken (a freshly killed chicken works best, but a frozen one may work)
6) Walk in counter-clockwise circles around the star, saying the words: "Ooh wa, ta aas, eye am" over and over. Wave the chicken over the chip while saying the chant. Perform his procedure for at least 5 minutes!!!
7) After 5 minutes take the chicken to the kitchen and broil it in the oven. You MUST feast on the flesh of the dead bird for the chip to work!!
8) Take your chip and install it.
That's it. You now have 50 extra horsepower and 100 foot pounds of torque!!!
Member
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 21
Likes: 0
From: Bradley, IL
What the @#$% Wow...."50 more HP,100 foot pounds of torque","Get a dead chicken",ect, What the H*LL are have you been drinken???? I HAVE A SUPERCHIP AND LOVE IT!!! ALL I CAN SAY IS HERE CHEVY....CHEVY....CHEVY.....CHEVY!!!!
been a bad day here!!
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1999 F150, Lariat, 4X4,5.4L,Wedgewood Blue,Auto, 3.55LS,K&N FIPK,Midas Performance muffler with dual pipes,Mobil1,SUPERCHIP
been a bad day here!! ------------------
1999 F150, Lariat, 4X4,5.4L,Wedgewood Blue,Auto, 3.55LS,K&N FIPK,Midas Performance muffler with dual pipes,Mobil1,SUPERCHIP
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 241
Likes: 0
From: Valdosta, Ga
So what happens if I use an Ostrich instead of the chicken? Should be like 300 HP and 600 foot pounds of torque right? Also, I was thinking about taking the 12 inch tires off my wifes Geo Metro and mounting them on my truck. With this torque multiplication and the horsepower gains from your chip and I should be able to smoke all the hopped up Mustangs in my area right?
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2000 Lariat Flairside Supercab, 5.4, 3.55LS, towing package, captains chairs,cd changer, Bugflector II (painted Bright Red) and now the Herculiner Bedliner
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2000 Lariat Flairside Supercab, 5.4, 3.55LS, towing package, captains chairs,cd changer, Bugflector II (painted Bright Red) and now the Herculiner Bedliner