Tales from A Sales Guy Driving My F150
Hey all. Thought I'd share my favorite top 5 stories from 2010. I drive my truck for sales work, covering Iowa, Minnesota, Missouri, and Kansas. Below are my most memorable 2010 encounters/events related to my truck:
1. I was designated driver after our year end Jaycee banquet. I flipped the seats up in the back (SCrew) to haul my dear friend Kelli (names changed to protect the embarrased) home. She was sure she was gonna puke. I also had Jen in the front seat riding shotgun. You can guess the result - about half way home I hear 'Oh Gawd' from the back and next thing I know my rear mat is full of sushi and red wine puke! Jen only needed about 10 seconds of the smell and she coated the outside passenger side with her version of a saki bomb. Sunday morning was spent fumigating and washing. I did get two free dinners from my girls as a result! =)
2. I was hauling a factory rep around Kansas and Missouri for the week. The guy couldn't keep his fingers out of his nose. He had allergies and plenty of green gold. Problem was, unbeknownst to me, he was a collector of boogers. He left a whole pile of them in the passenger door handle. I still gag thinking about cleaning out the door handle...
3. Last winter was brutal in Iowa, and I ended up stuck 3 times on the rural roads in NW Iowa due to drifting. The last time I was stuck I was using the scoop shovel I carry to get the drift out from under the truck. Part way through my digging a Chevy Malibu comes plowing along and gets stuck going around me. Ends up the chick is my neighbor in Ames, going to see family. We are now dating, and I'm glad I was stuck that day!
4. Another friend Melissa begged to borrow my truck to haul furniture over the weekend. I let her borrow the truck, and the following week I notice on my Garmin that the max speed was 107!! After some serious grilling she admits it was a prank and she took the gps out in her Camry to get the 107 because my truck would only get up to 99. I knew this already but she blushed when she realized the only way she'd know the 99 limit was if she had tested it. I'm still getting makeup favors for that one...
5. Lastly, I switched bosses in 2010. My old boss thought my truck was way too high end for sales (he drove the oldest junk the company would allow). He was fired, and my new boss lives in Minnesota, does trail and oval racing in the winter and thinks my truck is exactly what he wants for his next company vehicle! I even got a comment on my annual review that my truck rocks!
That's all for now, I'm out making new stories for 2011! My 09 FX4 is awesome, will roll 70,000 miles next week, and I plan on running it 200k for sure!
IowaAndy
1. I was designated driver after our year end Jaycee banquet. I flipped the seats up in the back (SCrew) to haul my dear friend Kelli (names changed to protect the embarrased) home. She was sure she was gonna puke. I also had Jen in the front seat riding shotgun. You can guess the result - about half way home I hear 'Oh Gawd' from the back and next thing I know my rear mat is full of sushi and red wine puke! Jen only needed about 10 seconds of the smell and she coated the outside passenger side with her version of a saki bomb. Sunday morning was spent fumigating and washing. I did get two free dinners from my girls as a result! =)
2. I was hauling a factory rep around Kansas and Missouri for the week. The guy couldn't keep his fingers out of his nose. He had allergies and plenty of green gold. Problem was, unbeknownst to me, he was a collector of boogers. He left a whole pile of them in the passenger door handle. I still gag thinking about cleaning out the door handle...
3. Last winter was brutal in Iowa, and I ended up stuck 3 times on the rural roads in NW Iowa due to drifting. The last time I was stuck I was using the scoop shovel I carry to get the drift out from under the truck. Part way through my digging a Chevy Malibu comes plowing along and gets stuck going around me. Ends up the chick is my neighbor in Ames, going to see family. We are now dating, and I'm glad I was stuck that day!
4. Another friend Melissa begged to borrow my truck to haul furniture over the weekend. I let her borrow the truck, and the following week I notice on my Garmin that the max speed was 107!! After some serious grilling she admits it was a prank and she took the gps out in her Camry to get the 107 because my truck would only get up to 99. I knew this already but she blushed when she realized the only way she'd know the 99 limit was if she had tested it. I'm still getting makeup favors for that one...
5. Lastly, I switched bosses in 2010. My old boss thought my truck was way too high end for sales (he drove the oldest junk the company would allow). He was fired, and my new boss lives in Minnesota, does trail and oval racing in the winter and thinks my truck is exactly what he wants for his next company vehicle! I even got a comment on my annual review that my truck rocks!
That's all for now, I'm out making new stories for 2011! My 09 FX4 is awesome, will roll 70,000 miles next week, and I plan on running it 200k for sure!
IowaAndy
Those are priceless! I dated a girl once who I took out in my 1989 Lariat for a drive... well... in the woods. Honestly, it was a nice winding dirt road about 6 miles long. She talked the whole way. A waste of gas. Anyway, after we got home, I noticed a branch had rubbed along the whole side of the truck and left a scratch (it was an easy buff). I voiced my disgust with the damage and she said "What's the big deal? It's just a stupid truck". I did not mind wasting the gas to get her home that afternoon, and you know, after that I never minded not answering the phone when she called, either.
Those are priceless! I dated a girl once who I took out in my 1989 Lariat for a drive... well... in the woods. Honestly, it was a nice winding dirt road about 6 miles long. She talked the whole way. A waste of gas. Anyway, after we got home, I noticed a branch had rubbed along the whole side of the truck and left a scratch (it was an easy buff). I voiced my disgust with the damage and she said "What's the big deal? It's just a stupid truck". I did not mind wasting the gas to get her home that afternoon, and you know, after that I never minded not answering the phone when she called, either. 

All great stories... I would have a hard time not beating someone if they kicked my dog's. Good thing I'm a Christian.
My wife understand's that my vehicles are part of the family. Her's too, as long as she keep's it clean.
My wife understand's that my vehicles are part of the family. Her's too, as long as she keep's it clean.
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Buggers, puke, lets hope im not armed if that happens to me. But check this out my neighbor helped out one of his coworkers move with his 250 diesel crewcab, she cheese grated the side of the bed trying to put a big rug in it. But the best part is the reason she was moving... she and her husband were seperating and somehow she took his F150 screw (which looks pretty nice, 06 or 07, lifted, bigger rims/tires and a bull bar). Then she put a sticker on the rear window "silly boys, truck are for girls". Soon after she put a huge dent in the rear tailgate and bumper!



