OK, My wife's old best friend (Not as close but still friends) married a guy from Missouri I believe (Maybe Wisconsin, We are in NC). Anyway, after he got back from Iraq, he left the Army moved in with her into her parents house until he could find work. Well, the economy like it is, neither of them have found work (She's going to school, through his GI bill), So he re-enlisted and is currently in Kentucky he'll be home 2 weeks in June so they can move to Texas. Anyway, She sold her car and has been driving his car. I have been seeing her out with a guy beside her. Then, my wife told me about her hanging out with some guy. One day she dropped something off here for my wife and I looked outside and he was sitting in the car, then we saw them out the other night. So weve never seen them kiss or hug or anything.

Now, I am the only friend around here he has because of our wives and b/c he moved here and hasnt really done much around here. I think I should tell him. I would want to be told. What do you guys think? My wife hasnt made up her mind. I dont have a way to contact him while hes in Kentucky but he will be home in June. What would the Military guys do? Is there a way to look up his location/#/e-mail through the military? Should I stay out of it.

IMHO, its kinda ****ty that she goes out and does this. Mooches off him, hasnt even looked for a job and possibly screwing another guy behind his back. He deserves respect as her husband and as a soldier. but I am not military, and I do not want to possibly crush his spirit while hes away from home. help.

 

OUCH! This is a tough one. If ya tell him, at least he can cut her off from his bank account. To sum it up. Married women should not have male friends. Even if this is innocent, it should not be happening, and she will eventually nail her new friend.

 

This sort of thing is so common in the military. I would wait and confront him when he gets back in June. Tell him what you saw...not what you think.

 

I would stay out of it.

They'll either break up or stay together, without any outside input.

It's their lives, I would try not to let it stress you out too much.

 

I disagree....he has to know. Many military folks get screwed by their so-called spouse and/or girlfriend. Based on my experience.....it's only right to inform him what you saw. Like I mentioned in my previous post....tell him what you observed and let him make his own decission.

 

If I did tell him, it would be after he came home. Dear John has caused many deaths through the years. He does not need to be distracted, especially if he's front line combat.

I'm sure he already suspects it.

 

What would happen if you mentioned to her how you felt and that she can tell him or you will?

 

stay out of it

 

I would want to know if someone was cheating on me. I'm not military, but I would wait till he comes home. That also gives you time to find out the full story about the other guy. Make sure something is actually going on before you worry him while he is away. Your wife might be able to find out easier than you since it's her friend right?

 

i'd put the bug in his ear that there may be foul play, since you only really have the suspicion.

 

This is sadly very common, expecially in the younger troops. Many times fooling around isn't a factor for the spouse, but they get a lot of attention from the boys, they innocently accept it at the beginning, missing their husbands and not having the maturity, the tools, or the know how to deal with it.

So i've seen it where they have not cheated on there spouse but the damage is normally the same. Since they get dependent and emotionally attached to someone other then their husbands the couple normally doesn't make it out of the re-climitization period after they get back.

I've also seen a few open marriages when either is deployed, they okay that kind of behavior.

As far as advice, going off what you've seen it leaves room for a lot of speculation so i'de keep to myself. If the couples worth their salt they'll both feel the change in the others behavior and know some things need to be worked out.

Side note, Thanks for looking out for our guys over there.

 

Ive seen this happen a hundred times to guys that are deployed or tdy. If i ever caught one of my friends wives cheating while my buddy is deployed or gone, id tell him. I would wait until he got back though and only tell him facts. He can then do what he wants. I get sick and tired of watching fat lazy military wives mooch off their husbands for years only to turn around and cheat on them and then take half his retirement. Its bull****.


PS Im not saying all military wives do this, i just get sick of seeing it.

 

This is the route I would take.

 

Sound advice!!

 

I would say what you saw when he gets back.

SrA Adrianspeeder