Oh I just LOOOOOOOOOVE Monday's...
 

cust - "Hi, I'm having issues with such-n-such application"
me - "Okay, could you please launch Netmeeting so I can get connected to you?"
cust - "Um.... okay...."
*30+ second pause*
cust - "Um, what does that icon look like?"
*me describing netmeeting icon*
cust - "Oh, okay found it."
me - "Okay, when it opens could you please grab me your IP address?"
*30+ second pause*
me - "Hi, did Netmeeting open for you?"
cust - "Yes, thank you"
me - "Okay... please click on 'help' and 'about windows netmeeting' and tell me your ip address"
*30+ second pause*
me - "do you see your IP address?"
cust - "Um, is that in a search menu somewhere?"
me - "are you looking at your netmeeting window?"
cust - "yes"
me - "Okay, please click on HELP and then ABOUT WNM and you'll see your IP address"
*1 minute pause as I mute customer and slam head on desk*
me - "hi ma'am???? do you see your IP address??????"
cust - "yes"

:help:

:( I know your pain....

Same here.

Isn't it amazing that a 3rd grader can follow simple instructions BETTER than an adult can.

Sad, sad society we live in.

Dude! SERIOUSLY! What the heck?

And my last customer....

"Hi, I am having real troubles with... well..... I need to remove access because this and that and bla bla bla bla bla *for 1 minute*" and I interrupt...

"I'm sorry, first of all, what application is this that you need help with?"

"Oh, sorry, it's Versapro"

"Okay, so is this a 'how do i' type question or is there a problem with the applicaion?"

"Um... it's a 'how do i' "

"Okay, well for that support you are going to need to get with your Versapro Superuser and they can train you on what you need to do."

"Oh, well it's not Versapro that I need help with."

???????? WTF ?????????

Remember, there are no stupid questions, just stupid users.

I had a lady call me at work about a "broom she saw on tv" she thinks it was black. So i figure out shes talking about the swivel sweeper cordless broom. And then she asks me like 3 times what price is it and if its on sale. then i get the feeling she is slightly retarded. Literally. then she said i have a 20, how much more do i need? Im like wtf? I told her 3 times the price is 29.99 and then there would be tax. I said politely you will need another 10 and another 5. Then she sounded sad and said oh okay bye

then im walking around for 10 minutes wondering what the hell was up with that lady. And why the person responsible for her wasnt watching her to make sure she isnt making phone calls

I think that's the common PEBKAC problem, problem exists between keyboard and chair, or the ever-popular Microsoft I-D-10-T error, lol!
I feel your pain, though, I was SBC DSL tech support for a long time, and I feel so sorry for people who use AT&T high-speed or anyone who ever had an sbcglobal, pacbell, swbell, ameritech or snet connection...The tech support isn't all it's cracked up to be, and then they outsourced it to India, so it's even worse now, but some of the customers, dang! Heard of people using the cd drive for a cupholder, had a woman using the mouse as a foot-pedal, but here's a funny story that was probably my favorite call out of the million I probably took. I felt bad for the man who had no family and just wanted his internet fixed.
Me:Thank you for choosing SBC Internet Services, this is Tony, how may I help you?
(after repeating my opening script x3)
Customer: I'm an old man.
Me:Alright, well, how may I help you tonight?
Fast-forward 1 and a half hour of talking this old guy (who listened very well) through various dsl troubleshooting steps:
Me:Well, sir, it seems that we have exhausted our possibilities at this time, I will dispatch a technician to your home to test your dsl lines at the local level and try to resolve your issue, will you be available tomorrow?
Customer, after a 45 second pause:So no porn tonight, huh?
(This shocked me, because the man had been patient and very nice, an ideal customer calling in for tech support, and he sounded so disheartened. So, I said the only thing that came to mind, and it had my quality department rolling in the floor laughing)
Me:Unfortunately, no, sir, not unless you want to go rent it.:lol: :lol:

:lol: :lol:

Yea, I'm jobless end of June because we're getting outsourced to Costa Rica. Anyone got a job for me?????

Just hand out your tech support number, we'll make sure your Monday goes MUCH better from here on out... :devil:

Possibly, what state are you in, Racerchick?

Sacramento, CA

That would be hot!

OMG! So here's a funny story. One day, a few weeks ago, I had made several trips to other buildings for voice recordings. Well there was this dude, EVERY DAMN TIME, sitting in one of the breezeways talking on his cell phone. Well the last time I was on my way back to my desk dude was there sitting in the chair with the phone up to his ear and just as I get close to him he closes his eyes, lays his head back against the window and says "SSSSSSS (sucking air through his teeth) MMMMMMMMMMM (moaning)" I about peed my pants laughing so hard. Dude, at least go into a conference room if you're gonna have phone sex!

You sure it wasn't meant for you?!:thumbsup:

I can almost understand that people just don't get computers and rather than think they are stupid . . . I'll cut them some slack and assume it's an average human vs machine thing (although if I had to deal with it every day I'd be foaming at the mouth probably).

Now if you want to read an example for someone who is really stupid and lacks any common sense, here is a true story.

Long ago (before personal computers) when I was a junior in college, I worked in a book store.

One day I get a phone call -

Retarded Customer - "Hi. I'm looking for a book that a friend of mine is reading and she really likes it so I'd like to get it too and I was wondering if you have it . . . "

Me - "OK. What's the title?"


Retarded Customer - "Uh . . . I don't know the title."

Me - "No problem. What's the author's name?"


Retarded Customer - "I don't know that either."

Me - "OK. Maybe it's a bestseller and I'll recognize it by content. What's it about? Is it fiction or non fiction? What can you tell me about it?"


Retarded Customer - "I don't know what it's about, just that it's really good. There was some red in the cover."

Me - "Excuse me?"


Retarded Customer - "The cover, of the book. When my friend showed it to me I remember there was some red in it, you know, the color."

:help:

Now that's some funny sh*t right there!:lol: