F150online Forums - A Wife's Letter

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I recently represented you and the United States Army at the funeral for SSG Greg McCoy, MP, assigned to the 410th MP Company, Fort Hood, Texas.

He was killed by an IED in Iraq on 9 November. As always, the ceremony was very moving, but especially poignant was the letter that his wife read during the Service. The letter pretty much says it all about our great Soldiers and families. The letter was published in the Waco Tribune on 21 November.

A war widow remembers her husband

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Below is a letter written by Lori McCoy, wife of Army Staff Sgt.
Gregory McCoy and mother of two. Sgt. McCoy, a Riesel resident, was
killed Nov. 9 by a roadside bomb in Baghdad. He was 26. His widow's
letter was read aloud during his memorial service Monday.

One question has been put before me time and time again in the past
week.

That question is "Do I support the war?" Although my answer was the
same every time, I have felt that I did not fully explain why I
answered the way I did.

While we were in Germany, my husband told me that if he didn't get the
opportunity to deploy, he would not re-enlist. He felt like he was
not able to use his training and found himself looking for a way to
fulfill that uncertainness inside of him. Deep down, I knew that
deploying was what it would take for Greg to feel like a real Soldier.
When that opportunity was before us, I was excited for him. He was
going to do what he wanted to do and felt their mission was justified.
I could not imagine him not being able to participate in something he
felt was his duty.

Though I worried about him, I knew that he and his unit would do
everything possible to ensure their safety and I will never forget the
moment of his return from his first deployment. Starting that very
day, he was already referring to "when he went back."

There was something about deploying that really made Greg feel
complete.
We have a beautiful family and a loving marriage, and I could never
find it in me to try to talk him out of something he felt was so
important.
Greg definitely believed in his duty first. But before you think that
is inappropriate, let me say that the many absences we went through
made our relationship stronger, and made what time we were able to
spend together even more precious.

I never thought that Greg would not come home. To have thoughts like
that when your husband is gone would make every day unbearable and I
still had two little boys to care for. Through seven years of
marriage, I had shown Greg that I was capable of standing on my own
two feet and he never doubted my ability to care for us in his
absence.

Even now, I feel comforted in knowing that Greg not only loved me but
trusted me enough to leave us.

So now, when I think about my answer to that question "do I support
the war?" this is what I say. It's not a matter of whether I support
the war.
What matters is that I supported my husband in something that was so
important to him. I support the other Soldiers who served with him
and their families, who share in our sacrifice. I support the
Soldiers of the 410th Military Police Company specifically who,
despite my husband's death, continue with their mission, because I
know Greg would want them to complete it.

But I want to pose a question to those who hold the fate of our
military in their hands. Will you make my husband's death worth it?
He died believing that his mission was right and just. He was never
afraid to fight to defend our country and would have gone to the end
of the earth if that's where the Army needed him. If we allow our
nation to feel like this is a war we cannot win, we are saying that
the price paid by my husband and other Soldiers like him was paid in
vain. As Americans, we need to make sure that the end justifies the
means.

To our family and friends and those who have been pillars of support
during this time, I want to thank you. But instead of mourning for
us, I want you to mourn for the people who were never blessed with
knowing Greg.
He was a loving husband and doting father. He had an ability to make
anyone laugh and I feel regret for those who were never able to see
this in him.

I know several of you have said that you will always remember Greg.
But as his wife, I want to ask you that instead of just remembering
him, you never forget him. Never forget his bravery, courage and
commitment to our country. Never forget what he sacrificed so that we
might have a better life. Never forget that what he died doing he
believed in. But most of all, never forget that men and women like
him became heroes long before they died. They became heroes when they
enlisted.

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