God's Helper
 

Thought I'd post this for our Navy friends.

Enjoy.

A Navy SEAL was attending some college courses between assignments.
He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan.
One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist
and a member of the ACLU. One day he shocked the class when
he came in, looked to the ceiling, and flatly stated, "God,
if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform.
I'll give you exactly 15 minutes.

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop.
Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God.
I'm still waiting."

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the SEAL got out
of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-****ed him;
knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.
The SEAL went back to his seat and sat there, silently.
The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there
looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to,
noticeably shaken, looked at the SEAL and asked, "What the
hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The SEAL calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting
America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say
stupid sh%t and act like an a$$hole. So He sent me."

:lol: Ya gotta love it. :lol:

Love it every time I hear it... God doesn't even F with Seals....:thumbsup:

USNS little creek va "71":thumbsup:

After getting all of the Pope's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.
"Excuse me, Your Eminence," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "They never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."
"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
"There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel.
The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Supreme Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.
"Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
"So bust him," said the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.
Chief exclaimed........ "All the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the cop.
The Chief then asked...... "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"
Cop:"Bigger."
Chief:"Governor?"
Cop:"Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief,"Who is it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
Chief:"What makes you think it's God?"
Cop:"He's got the Pope for a limo driver!"

Good one!:lol:

:lol: :lol: