The most ridiculous thing you've ever heard from a customer
 

I have a number of stories to share, and I hope that others will be inclined to add more stories from their own lines of work.

First let me give you a little background:

I work in a college registrars office for a school called Eisenhower University - see http://www.eisenhoweruniversity.com. My division deals with prior learning assessment (PLA) and evaluation for people with work experience and/or previous college credits that they could turn into an Eisenhower degree. Every day our office gets calls and emails from all around the country, and I have the pleasure of speaking to a number of upstanding individuals who think they could get a Master's Degree in Engineering because they once "built a do-it-yourself radio kit." While we mail out degrees in many trades for work experience, we're not going to give you an Accounting Degree because your aunt was an accountant five years ago and you once "balanced your own checkbook." If you expect a university to grant you a degree based on work experience you should have actually, you know, worked in the field for a number of years.

What makes things worse is that the hippies at my university recently artifically lowered the PLA fees to ridiculous levels due to of some kind of "education should be free or almost free" mentality. That means my office gets bombarded with inquiries 24/7 from idiots with no any qualifications or work references at all, who want to trick us into giving them a degree.

- Story 1 -

Earlier today I had a call from a redneck wanting to apply with us. During the conversation this is what transpired:

Me: May I have your zip code please?

Him: Zip code? You mean 804?

Me: Oh, I'm sorry I meant your 5 digit zip code

Him: Hold on, HONEY!! WHATS THE ZIP CODE!!

Me: *pause*

Him: We don't know, I just want to sign up for the PLA program

Me: Absolutely. I will be happy to help you further; what state do you live in?

Him: STATE? the UNITED STATES!

- Story 2 -

Often we'll get clueless people who are so out of touch with technology that its laughable. Here's a snippet from a conversation with a 40 year old guy about applying for our work experience degree program online.

Me: What version of Windows are you running?

Them: Hold on, let me check.

Me: OK.

Them: They're thermal.

Me: I...I beg your pardon?

Them: The windows are thermal.

Me: ...

- Story 3 -

Last week a lady called in who was having trouble accessing her student account on our website. I don't know why she called our office, since tech support is a different division entirely. But after a little trial and error we were able to get her account fixed and everything squared away. The tail end of our conversation went like this:

Me: Well, seems like everything is working, is there anything else I can help you with?

Her: Yeah, don't use anti-perspirant! Wanna know why?

Me: Not really, but I bet you're going to tell me.

Her: Because it causes cancer! Look at the first ingredient, it's aluminum! It gives you the cancer!

Me: Well, that's good to know ma'am, have a good day!

Her: Wait!! Do you know why 9/11 really happened? George Bush ordered it! There were secret Nesara computers in the sub-sections underneath the WTC!

Me: Wow, amazing.

Her: I'm part of this secret agency tied to Nesara, and we're planning on overthrowing the government! Here's a few links you should check out, and tell all your friends about!

Me: Will do ma'am, thank you for calling.

Her: No no! Wait! Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara Nesara !!!!!!

The call lasted about 40 minutes after I fixed her problem, and since I can't hang up on students I had to sit there and listen to these awesome stories. She went on and on about Nesara, and how I should watch the news because something huge was going to happen in the next few days. Of course nothing did. God I love my job.

I have more stories if you guys are interested. I'll probably be back later tonight since I have some important things to do at the moment.

Reader's Digest:

"My foot pedal doesnt work"

I had her put the mouse back on the desk and told her to have a nice day.

So he logged in and created an account to post this? What am I missing?

The most ridiculous thing you've ever heard from a customer ....


I put these special pills in my fuel tank and I get 3 -4 MPG better fuel mileage.

A life....just like me...

I'm sitting in class right now typing as the instructor talks...this place is gonna get me fired and failed at the same time.

Hey man that stuff is real....really really real.

Slack off, bro, it's actually kinda' funny.:lol:

Kinda like how GOD allowed your fathers sperm to penetrate your mothers egg......:devil:

I called Radioshack one time, told them to walk next door; and tell the person behind the counter to put the phone on the hook. He hung up on me.:lol:

computer tech
 

"i cant see my mouse", np ma'am just move it around to see if you can see it, "its hard to see it though" ok maybe your mouse if on an coarse surface what type of mouse pad are you using? true story "well im using it on my monitor sonny" she actually had her mouse against the monitor and was moving it around the front of it, i almost fell over at work.

several months ago, I sold a removable face stereo to a customer and installed it for him. A month ago he phones me up, all pissed off, because someone stole his faceplate. I mentioned that the reason the face was removable was because it is useless to steal the stereo without the face and that I had advised him to always remove the face when he was away from the vehicle so it wouldn't get stolen. His response was that if I had sold him something with a fixed face no one would have taken it. I said "yeah right, your entire stereo would have been gone and your dash destroyed getting it out". Haven't heard from him since...:rolleyes:


regards

Wow they are stupid! and Those FRIGGIN pills work!

:lol: :lol: What's the name of those FRIGGIN pills?!!!!!!!!!!